August 10, 2017 at 3:11 pm #696867
If I found out my 3 year old had already been sleeping in a bed with this woman I would be losing my shit!August 10, 2017 at 3:11 pm #696868
He did the sleeping thing the first night, my daughter told me. I didn’t mention it to him. Then before the next sleep over I mentioned that I knew what he did and I thought it was insensitive. So that night he asked my daughter if it was ok to sleep together and she said yes. I’m sure he’s going to keep doing it. They have been dating for only 6 weeks BUT my daughter knows her as aunty for about 6 months! She loves her so of course she’s going to say it’s ok. But is it? Really hard to accept all these new behaviors being pushed on my daughter. Like they are already playing family with her.August 10, 2017 at 3:25 pm #696869
the cosleeping is kinda weird, but mostly I’d just keep communication with your daughter open. they’re going to regret that themselves soon enough when she won’t sleep by herself at their house.August 10, 2017 at 4:09 pm #696871
The cosleeeping is more than kind of weird to me. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes here…I’d be calling my lawyer. You need to tell him that he does not get to make decisions like who sleeps in bed with your daughter, on his own. I’d honestly be freaked out that she is or he is, or they both are grooming her. It’s freaking weird.August 10, 2017 at 4:30 pm #696872
annoyed, you are not getting it.
“Insensitive?” How about, “bad for my daughter.” You do not have a strong enough grasp of appropriate behavior, and I’m worried for your kid when you start dating again.August 10, 2017 at 6:10 pm #696874
I don’t know if the response about the girlfriend knowing the daughter before were related to my comment, but to clarify — there’s a difference between a kid being introduced to a friend and a kid being introduced to and spending time with a parent’s SO. Specifically, in this case, where it apparently means sharing a bed. I also find the co-sleeping weird. It would be one thing if she was scared to sleep alone and climbed in, but it sounds like it was his idea. Most people like their kid to sleep in their own bed.August 10, 2017 at 6:26 pm #696875
It’s not insensitive. It’s inappropriate. You need a lawyer.August 11, 2017 at 11:30 am #696926
Go see a family lawyer and get a custody agreement. With what you have described, that’s probably child endangerment.August 16, 2017 at 1:42 pm #697395
This is really hitting a nerve with me because I have been through sort of similar circumstances with my ex husband. My daughter was three when we divorced. He had several mini long term SOs.(his relationships/marriages last about 2 years at the most) With each one my daughter was showered with gifts (you could clearly tell they were going overboard with my daughter because they though it would further solidify their relationship with my ex, little did they know he goes hot and heavy, but always has a two year “expiration date”.) She would be encouraged to tell the gf/temp wife she loves them and/or call them Mommy. She would also be encouraged to attach herself to the SOs extended family. This happened over and over (two wives and several girlfriends over the past 17 years…all lasting around 2 years.)This really hurt my daughter because she would grow attached and then when my ex and his SO would break up that was it. My daughter was told no contact. I get upset just thinking about it. My now 20 year old daughter still has attachment issues stemming from this!
Please get a lawyer.If you can’t afford one you will have to do it on your own. It is harder that way, but you can do it. If you all do not have anything legal in place I auggest you keep your daughter away from him until you do. DO NOT LET HIM COME OVER. Tell him you wish to handle everything legally. You need to have him establish legal paternity (have her legitimized) Then set up CHILD SUPPORT and visitation. You can explain your concerns to a judge and have your little girl protected from this emotional madness. Stop being so nice. You don’t owe him s**t and you aren’t doing your daughter any favors by being so nice! She is very young, so keeping her with you while you settle this shouldn’t hurt her in any way. Trust me on this one. Lock the door and lawyer up!August 16, 2017 at 1:51 pm #697397
If you don’t know where to start go to your local child support office and ask them for help. My case was a little different because I was married. As soon as my husband and I separated I filed for temporary custody. You don’t have to do that. Until he legitimizes the child you have all the legal rights to her.