Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Possible ex-run in after I became the psycho ex

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Possible ex-run in after I became the psycho ex

This topic contains 26 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Copa Copa 3 days, 17 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 27 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #687494 Reply
    avatar
    Ale
    Member

    What @Copa said. Also, “He’ll probably avoid you like the plague” is true, but he has played mind games in the past and could play them today too. But you’ll be ready.

    #687504 Reply
    avatar
    Nicole

    I would avoid me too lol. But live and learn. His behavior sucked. Had he just said ok and apologized instead of trying to get me to admit that I missed him and wanted to see him, I probably wouldn’t have been the psycho ex. I just have to not take hurt and transform it into anger. Kind of like getting better in sitting with being hurt because every time I react in anger or obsess over the hurt, I always regret it. I don’t regret the loss of him- just the loss of my “sanity” and how I am titled “the crazy ex” when it is not really who I am.

    #687506 Reply
    kmtthat
    kmtthat
    Participant

    Yeah, I relate to not wanting to seem “crazy” or lose my cool. It helps to be compassionate with yourself and know that you can chose to keep your emotions and feelings about this situation private/not for him to know from here on out.

    I’ve found that many times behind the “crazy ex” is a dude who drives someone crazy (I’m by all means a sane person but I once broke my own phone by throwing it against the wall so my ex couldn’t go through it. I also punched his car so hard I dented it. And spit on him once in the heat of an argument. I was young and acting horribly in a very toxic situation and was deeply ashamed). If you have mutual friends, they will know your character and you didn’t do anything super over the line from what you’ve said (no bunny boiling, breaking in, hacking email, revenge plots, threats, etc.) Just chose to start today to move on.

    #687507 Reply
    avatar
    Nicole

    Nope none of the above! I’m sorry you went through all that in your relationship. Isn’t it crazy how some people know how to bring out the worst!? This is why it’s so important to try to keep it cool. Plus the second you start acting crazy, everything else before that is thrown out the window no matter how wrong they are.

    #687508 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    He goaded you. He pushed until he got the reaction he wanted and then went silent. He was trying to get that reaction, probably just to claim you are psycho and to make himself look innocent. Whatever he gets out of it I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t try to do the same again, especially in public to make you look bad. The trouble with trying to goad you in public is that the public will see him doing it so be polite but distant. If someone is going to look bad let it be him. If he does anything at all just smile and walk away. That will annoy him because he wants the reaction. Your revenge is to have a good time while looking like you don’t have any thoughts about him at all.

    #687510 Reply
    avatar
    Ale
    Member

    Exactly, now you are the “crazy ex” but you once were a loving partner. The important thing here is what YOU think, not what anybody else thinks, including your ex. You are not a crazy ex. You have already taken responsibility for what you did, you know you are “guilty” of doing certain things, but he didn’t take responsibility for this. You shouldn’t care about that. You did what you did, forgive yourself and move on.

    #687514 Reply
    avatar
    Janelle

    Look amazing. Hold your head up high and if he mentions something laugh it off and say “excuse me I just saw so and so and I just go say hello”.

    #687522 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I think you’re being too hard on yourself. By virtue of the fact that you acknowledge that yeah, you could’ve handled things better, you’re not crazy, you know? I think we’ve all come at least a little unhinged after a relationship ends before. Your ex sounds like he was trying to get a reaction out of you. It sucks that you gave him one, but he’s not innocent here. I doubt your ex will do or say anything to you about your behavior at the event you’re going to because, again, he doesn’t look so great in that story himself.

    #687535 Reply
    avatar
    Anny123

    Look good, stay calm, and don’t drink haha! I woulnd’t beat yourself up over you reaction- he behaved poorly, and you reacted… whatever! But, you can still get back on your white house, no harm no foul. You know who you are, and you are a good person for feeling guilt over your behavior, he’s probably not doing the same self reflection as you are. With some time and looking back, I realize now that usually when we feel guilty about reacting in ways that aren’t us… it’s because someone has done something that has deserved some sort of reaction, or pushed us to a point. If it wasn’t this, it would have been something else, so live and learn and be happy you didn’t waste more time. No communication, be polite, smile, have fun!

    #687537 Reply
    avatar
    Fyodor

    People are going to think I’m trolling, but I’m not.

    Get drunk-start a scene! Rehash all of the grievances of your relationship in front of everyone! being recently broken up is one of the few times that there’s social license for someone to create a scene. Take advantage of it before your window slips!

    #687594 Reply
    avatar
    Gwyneth6

    Since he blocked you I wouldn’t wave. I’d only say hi or wave when it would be extra weird not to. Err on the side of distance!

    #687777 Reply
    avatar
    Nicole

    Thanks guys! I didn’t expect advice AND positive feedback! Well the good news is that he was not there but I am now better prepared for a future run-in.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 27 total)
Reply To: Possible ex-run in after I became the psycho ex
Your information:




Comments on this entry are closed.