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Proposals? Why/why not?

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar MaggieB 2 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #727923 Reply
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    bondgirl

    @portia, I kinda got the same vibe from that show. It also freaked me out how many women they actually featured. Like, How did they find THAT many women who just had a baby totally by surprise?!

    #728106 Reply
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    MaggieB

    I was very happy to be proposed to–I like the tradition, I loved the special moment of surprise and happiness (it’s the biggest and best I’ll ever have, I’m sure), and I loved the ring he picked out for me. And I know he felt really good about giving me that moment, and he even enjoyed the little thrills of sneaking around to prepare for it.

    That said, like so many other people, we had already discussed marriage at length. He knew it was something I wanted and was ready for with him. He was the one coming around to the idea, after being one of those marriage-reticent guys in his younger years, so it made sense (tradition aside) that he’d be the one to make the formal pronouncement, rather than me.

    He asked many pointed questions leading up to it, so I knew it was coming soon, and if I hadn’t been into the idea, I would have had many opportunities to put the brakes on and have a serious discussion about my reservations.

    Some of those pointed questions were about my taste in jewelry, and he has good taste overall, so I trusted him to pick out the ring, otherwise I would have dropped my own hint about what he wanted, or said I’d prefer to go shopping together after the engagement.

    He was also completely aware that I wasn’t into public proposals, and neither is he, so it was just the two of us, on a hike in a gorgeous national park.

    All in all, though it was a pretty traditional engagement, I loved it because it fit well with who and where we were, and he was very considerate about how he executed it.

    #728108 Reply
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    MaggieB

    Oh, and to add on: I had told him previously that I didn’t believe in getting my parents’ permission before proposing, I’m a 30-year-old adult who makes my own decisions. I wouldn’t have been pissed if he had, but I didn’t prefer it.

    After he proposed, he was worrying about not having asked them, since some of his friends told him he absolutely had to. He talked to me about it, and offered to fake the timing by calling my Dad that evening and then “proposing the following day.” I told him not to, and instead, we called and asked for their blessing together.

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