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Dear Wendy

SAHM: To be or not to be, that is the question

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice SAHM: To be or not to be, that is the question

This topic contains 27 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar RedRoverRedRover 7 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #668488 Reply

    I have two kids…one is a senior in HS and one is in college. When they were very young, I cut back my work to three days a week, gradually increasing my work time as they got older. I was really lucky to be able to do this, one because I would have gone crazy being a full-time SAHM, two because it allowed me to keep myself in the work world (albeit at a slower upward pace than it would have been if I had worked full-time). I have lots of friends who gave up work completely to raise their kids and it was very hard for them to re-enter the workforce when their kids got older. Not saying this is the wrong decision for anyone – it’s completely personal – but I am glad I was able to take the path that I did.

    I don’t know which is the right career path for you but I will say that for me, over the past 20 years, I was willing to take some jobs I might not otherwise have taken so that I could manage my work-life balance better with a young family. To me, the “sacrifice” was worth it.

    As for needing to be around people – I totally get that. I work from home now and I definitely go stir-crazy sometimes even though I’m in Skype meetings much of the day. Are there co-working sites near you? That could be a good middle ground. One opened up near me recently and I’ve been meaning to go check it out. There’s something about the energy of an office that I think I need sometimes to get my brain going, even if my co-workers wouldn’t be connected to my work in any way.

    Good luck with the decision!

    #668490 Reply

    @K, oh it didn’t get lodged in there, either I pulled it out or my mom did, but it left my throat all sore and bloody. I was like 4, and I still remember it hurt really bad.

    #668497 Reply

    I work from home, and my daughter goes to a nanny during the day at another family’s house. I would get absolutely nothing done with her home, even if the nanny was here. One big change for me in the transition from office life to work from home life has been the ability to separate my worlds. I have a really hard time concentrating when my home is a mess, and feel like I should tidy up/get grocery shopping done, etc, even though that wouldn’t be the case if I was in the office. And… I do miss dressing up every day and getting out in the world. On the other hand, my stress levels are way waaaaay down with the flexibility that working from home affords. I don’t know if this is a long term solution for me, but so far it has been worth it.

    #668498 Reply

    Oh and one other thing to add… if you’re even considering working while you have a newborn, then I’m guessing your first two babies may have been easy babies or even average. But your third could end up being high-needs. I’ve had two high-needs babies and there’s no way I could have worked at the same time as caring for them. The second one was particularly bad, and she not only required 100% of my time, but she required a second person to be around to help for 6 weeks, and then me fully up till 4-5 months. I couldn’t even care for my other kid. So don’t plan to be overloaded, because you still don’t know how this baby is going to be.

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