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Strange relationship

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by Cleopatra Jones Cleopatra Jones 2 days, 6 hours ago.

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  • #726898 Reply
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    ConfusedBetty

    I’m so confused. I recently started a fwb relationship in July with a guy who like me was already married. Things were good and we were on the same page. I wanted a friend to hang out with and go out on the town with and he wanted passion in his life. I wanted nothing but companionship and to be made to feel like a woman. I thought things were good. We maintained our life at home never intersecting them. He was so sweet and such a gentleman. We seemed to vibe well and enjoy each other’s company. Suddenly he disappears and when he finally appears it’s like I did something wrong. The first time I freaked out on him. I didn’t want a one night stand I wanted something regular but not a relationship. He reappeared and told me how busy he had been. I felt bad and forgave him. He did good for a while and then it started again. I think he lies to me and doesn’t get he doesn’t have to lie. I felt so used when he gets distant because I did everything in my power to ensure he wasn’t used and gives him what he asks for in bed. At home for me sex is not good and lots of things are off limits. With him anything goes and he makes sure I’m satisfied. I made sure everything was perfect and he gets whatever he want in bed. He is now so moody and it makes me feel so insecure. I make sure I look my best always for him. I make myself available until recently. I started to ignore his text for a day or so now because I don’t know what to think. Once he seemed upset that I didn’t reply and now it doesn’t phase him. I want to walk away but as crazy as it sounds want to keep sleeping with him because his sex is really good and I don’t want to have to find someone else. Help me make sense of this.

    Confused

    #726900 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    I’m just praying you don’t have children because this is probably going to get ugly. Why are you so hung up on a FWB? This is adultery not high school dating. He isn’t going to be honest with you-he’s lying to his WIFE, why the fuck does he owe you better? Maybe you should think about why cheating is fine in your book but apparently divorce isn’t? If things are so hopeless with your husband move on already.

    #726901 Reply
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    Sarah

    You are not his girlfriend or his wife, and honestly with you both being married your not FWB because your not friends, you don’t hang out unless you are having sex. So quit freaking out on him and trying to make it that. You are not in a relationship/friendship with him he has no obligation to call and keep a schedule. When he has time he will come and service you after that he does not want to hear from you until it is that time again that is the arrangement you have (see not relationship or friendship). You are bartering sex and that is all, he does not want a girlfriend or a wife if you want to keep getting the cookie realize that and act accordingly.

    #726904 Reply
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    Ron

    He’s married and it seems like he wants to stay married, which means your fwb relationship needs to remain secret, which means you both need to be able to handle this secret sort-of fwb emotionally. When you freak out on him it is jarring evidence to him that you can’t handle it emotionally. This puts his marriage at risk.

    You are both playing with fire and your fwb deal seems to be falling apart. You are both married. You both need to decide if you really want to remain married. If you do, then you need to put your spouses first. You are lucky that you’ve gotten away with this thus far. I’m wondering why you are continuing to push this fwb as it has become less and less satisfactory to you and the risk has increased. Are you using the fwb to explode your marriage?

    Thus far, you can’t get what you need from your husband in bed. That is extremely important to you, if you’ve decided that cheating is the solution. You need to resolve this core problem — either counseling that works or divorce. Have you decided that you would rather be married to your fwb partner and are now angry that he has no interest in a more complete relation with you and wants to stay with his wife. If that’s the case, get a divorce and find a guy who is fully available.

    #726914 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Oh, this is rich. You’re cheating on your husband, and you’re upset that the guy you’re using for sex isn’t available to service you whenever you want it?

    I see two choices here.

    1) Divorce your husband and find a boyfriend or another husband.

    2) Hire a sex worker to attend to your needs on a regularly scheduled basis.

    #726924 Reply
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    Tom

    Haha wow.

    Is your husband aware of your fwb arrangement? I doubt it. And eitherway this would have to be one of the most self-obsorbed posts I have ever read 😂

    He is there to have sex with you. That’s it. You’re not worth his relationship. He doesn’t want you more than his wife. You’re are an convenience and that’s it.

    #726925 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Confront him at home or even better, in his front yard. You are entitled to better treatment from your adultery partner, but you need to stand up for yourself and demand it.

    #726930 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Fyodor for the win. 👏

    #726935 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    I think you should ask your husband for advice on what to do about your FWB. I bet he’d have a few choice things to say about it.

    #726937 Reply
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    MMR

    I’m really confused about what you actually want… You want him to be committed enough to you that he’s available and takes you out regularly, but somehow this isn’t a relationship?

    Either way, the irony here is INCREDIBLE.

    I’m on team Fyodor.

    #726957 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    The thing about FWB versus a relationship (or a marriage) is that you’re not committed to each other and you don’t get to make rules for each other. It’s pretty much take-it-or-leave-it. If you don’t like the way that he is choosing to relate to you as a FWB, then you can end it. Otherwise, you sort of have to accept if he doesn’t want to see you consistently or whatever. I suspect that he saw that you were expecting too much from him (expecting something more similar to a relationship) and he’s trying to create distance so you get the reminder that you’re not a couple.

    #726995 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Yup – Fyodor’s solution is really your best option. You don’t get to have a “relationship” with this guy. You get to have sex. That’s it. There is no commitment. If he wants to get it on with seven women in a week, the only thing you get to decide is which day is yours, and even then Miss Tuesday may give better blowies and you get stuck with Monday.

    It doesn’t matter how much you please him, how much attention you give him, he’s still married. He still wants to be married and you are nothing more than a little strange before he goes home and kisses his wife (poor woman).

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