Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Struggling

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #727158 Reply
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    secret
    Member

    Soo me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple years now and the past 6 months I have not been a priority in his life at all!

    He is constantly late for everything. Whenever I have asked him to be somewhere with me, he leaves it last minute, he doesn’t bother even trying being on time.

    He doesn’t make plans with me, whenever he has free time he would rather spend it doing stuff with other people. Which in a sense I get but I don’t know the last time he asked to spend time with me. He hasn’t really been making time for me. Most of the time he just texts me last minute when he has no one else or nothing else to do.

    He is really big into basketball and I always support him in it. Whenever he trains he refuses to go out after and always says he is too tiered and sometimes I have to work on Friday nights when he has basketball and every time I do he happens to have time to do something with other people.

    He bails on me for things that are important to me or tells me that the there is something more important because it is something he wants. I always make sacrifices for things that are important to him but he won’t do the same. I get it’s not going to happen all the time but it’s not happening at all.

    There have also been things I would really like to do but he just never wants to do them. There is always an excuse but happens to make time to do it with other people. It’s like unless it’s something he wants in the time he won’t even bother.

    Don’t get me wrong there are so many amazing things about my relationship. He is a genuinely good person. I just don’t feel like a priority more like an option. I feel like I am the one making all the effort when it comes to this sort of stuff.

    I would love to hear your thoughts. Just please be kind I am here for advise not to have people bag me or my relationship

    #727161 Reply
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    Ruby Thursday

    MOA.

    #727164 Reply
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    Heatherly
    Member

    When you you’re no longer a priority, then your boyfriends feeling have changed. He’s done, but can’t be bothered to end it or doesn’t like being the bad person. So you need to end it as it’s a waste of your time, energy and love. Sorry. But it’s the truth. Actions speak louder then words.

    #727167 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Your boyfriend is using you as a convenience at best. He’s treating you like shit so that you’ll break up with him because he’s too much of a coward or too lazy to do it himself. Oblige him one last time and dump him. Or don’t bother, stop calling him and see how long it takes him to notice. You’re wasting time and emotion on this guy. Move on so you can free yourself up to meet a dude who’s actually interested in you.

    #727169 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    He checked out of the relationship a long time ago. He is doing that thing guys do when they’re over it and don’t even like you anymore, but don’t want the responsibility of initiating a breakup. He’s not just acting like you’re not a priority: You’re actually not a priority. At all. He doesn’t want to spend time with you. If you stopped making an effort, you’d never see him. This is literally already over, but you’re hanging onto it because you think, well, he’s my boyfriend. For two years. And he’s a really good guy. So if I can just find the right words or actions to crack the code here, I can fix this and get him to start acting like a boyfriend who gives a shit. Just stop making any effort, and see what happens. Then, break up with him.

    #727176 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    He’s not interested in being with you anymore, but for whatever reason, doesn’t want to break up (doesn’t like conflict, doesn’t want to hurt you, lazy, whatever). Don’t put up with someone treating you like you don’t matter.

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