Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Things that have changed since you were single/dating

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This topic contains 41 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 1 week, 2 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 42 total)
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  • #685054 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Hmm. I have never had a single person lash out at me for an early-on text rejection. Weird.

    #685055 Reply
    avatar
    Heather

    I really have had that. The majority of men who I very politely said that they’re great, but we aren’t a good match have been extremely hostile and normally sexual back in a way that wasn’t called for. I got a dating phone so that if & when it went sour, then no contact was possible to my real number.

    #685059 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Wow. Maybe I’ve been lucky in that regard. I had one guy go off on me, and we hadn’t even met yet. (He couldn’t commit to a time/place, then invited me over last-minute to walk his dog, and I said no thanks.) He wished me luck finding someone willing to tolerate such a miserable bitch. I blocked him, and that was that. A dating phone seems extreme. Sorry you’ve had enough issues to warrant that!

    #685060 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Back in the day all of your call logs and contacts were stored on the SIM card, which doubled as phone storage. So the players would have a backup SIM card for cheating.

    #685061 Reply
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    Fyodor

    At least that’s my vague recollections. I may be mixing up real life with episodes of the wire and romantic players with drug dealers. As the first post suggested I am not as young as I used to be.

    #685113 Reply
    avatar
    Ange

    Dating apps and online dating are probably the big things I missed, your tinders and Matches and whatnot. Australia is very different to America in that online dating at all was seen as really weird until pretty recently. It’s a lot more socially acceptable now but 5 years ago you wouldn’t even admit that’s how you met most of the time. Thanks to that our dating culture has evolved hugely from when I was younger. Back then nobody ‘dated,’ you might go out with someone once or even just hang out at the pub or something a couple of times and you were considered a couple. Casual dating of many people and having the exclusivity talk didn’t really exist. Now we’re right where you guys are and I’m sure it’s because of Tinder and all that.

    And definitely a big WTF?! about the lack of condoms now. Not sure where we are with it but I agree the whole culture around safe sex is getting too lax.

    #685120 Reply
    Cleopatra_30
    Cleopatra_30
    Participant

    I grew up with the online dating apps and Tinder. But even though that has been a tool in my dating, some of the etiquette with dating has really been lacking. Just because something is ‘the usual’ ie ghosting, that doesn’t necessarily means it is right. I hate ghosting and when it happens it just shows a lack of respect and curtesy for the time/money that has been put into the date(s) that have been gone on. Why is it so troublesome to just shoot a text and say thanks but no thanks? Respect the time and energy of the other person.

    In regards to safe sex, I can’t speak for the masses, but from what I have gathered, most of my friends use safe sex, as I do myself.

    #685154 Reply
    avatar
    MissDre

    @heather I have had guys be really hostile to me too. Call me a stuck up bitch, etc. So it happens.

    Tinder wasn’t around last time I was dating so that was definitely weird to get used to when I got out of my last relationship. It was fun at first but quickly became exhausting.

    #685292 Reply
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    K

    I didn’t use any online dating sites until after college – I wonder if college kids these days use them? It was easy enough to find guys in college – nothing long lasting of course, haha, but I’d meet guys at house parties, bars, through friends, etc.

    #685298 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I think college kids these days use apps, but doubt “traditional”/paid sites like Match are as popular. The apps didn’t exist when I was in college. I’m sure the “traditional” sites did, but I didn’t pay any attention to them because meeting people was pretty easy for me. I didn’t try online dating until I was 26, after I broke up with my grad school boyfriend — that was a few years ago, but I remember feeling embarrassed to tell people that was how I met the boyfriend I had when I was 26-27. It didn’t seem quite as mainstream as it is now, when pretty much everyone I know who didn’t meet their partner in school has at least tried online dating at this point. If meeting new people wasn’t so much harder post-grad, I doubt I’d use any online service whatsoever.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Copa Copa.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Copa Copa.
    #685304 Reply
    avatar
    K

    I know OkCupid existed when I was in college because a friend and I joined it just to take their quizzes. The apps didn’t exist until after college for me either. I really am not a fan of online dating, but I did meet a boyfriend through Match when I was 26, like you. I’m 33 now. I think I told my mom at first that we met through kickball, I forget if I ever even told her we met through online! My mom found it somewhat taboo then, but not anymore, as 7 years later it’s so mainstream.

    #685310 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Yeah, I told some people I met my now-ex online, but definitely lied to others and said we met through a friend. My mom was one of the people I lied to. I never told her the truth, but tbh, I think she knew. Now I’m open about it with my mom and just about everyone that I use apps. I even showed my mom how to use it once and we swiped together on my account, haha. The only people I think I’d still be a little embarrassed to talk about online dating with is co-workers.

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