Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Things that have changed since you were single/dating

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This topic contains 41 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 4 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 42 total)
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  • #685315 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Interesting. I met my wife online in 2006. It was a little bit of a novelty to people but not anything we thought embarrassing.

    #685382 Reply
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    SomeGalinSG

    @Janelle That just happened to me today! LOL I wasn’t rude either I just said the the connections wasn’t there anymore. That I didn’t want to force anything. And his reply via phone call was “well honey, you are loosing out on a good thing” and since I didn’t want to hear anymore nonsense. I hung up, blocked him and called it a day.
    This is the second time a grown man says something like that o me.. The first told me ” You’ll never find another man like me” And I was like exactly, that is the whole point.
    Oh well I agree though after being married for 13 years the dating scene has changed drastically. 🙁

    #685384 Reply
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    Fyodor

    People were assholes thirteen years ago. People have never taken rejection well.

    #685388 Reply
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    SomeGalinSG

    @Fyodor … I don’t like rejection either. Who does! Haha But I am capable of controlling my tongue, emotions and save my dignity.

    #685408 Reply
    TheLadyE
    TheLadyE

    I have had several men be openly hostile and double-down on the persistence on sites like OKCupid when we haven’t even met yet and I said I wasn’t interested after exchanging a few messages. One guy went OFF on me a couple of years ago and said I couldn’t possibly be real (and called me every name in the book) when I had an icky feeling and refused to give him my phone number.

    Because of that, I now don’t answer messages when I’m not interested. Men bemoan that women don’t answer but if the result is going to be a barrage of hostility, why would we?

    Admittedly, that’s also caused me to “ghost” after the first date once or twice. I’m not sure if after only one date it counts as ghosting, but if I’m really not feeling it I don’t want to have a freaking debate on the subject if I tell a guy I don’t want to see him again. I had one guy track me down on Facebook after I stopped answering his texts and was trying to just fade from his memory. Creeper alert!

    #686155 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Do most people answer messages when they’re not interested? I like the apps because it gives you a little bit of control over who can contact you — there has to be mutual interest. When I’ve used “traditional” sites, I’m been bombarded with e-mails from men I’m not interested in and I don’t respond if I’d never even consider them.

    On a somewhat related note, I just joined up on an actual site again for variety’s sake. I’ve had a few disappointments in a row and thought I’d change it up because I can feel myself getting down on dating. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone this route, and I forgot how pitiful some of the men on these sites seem. In the span of just a couple days, I’ve already gotten several messages from guys who put themselves down in their first e-mails (e.g., “I know I’m not good-looking, but…”) and it brings me down even more.

    #686156 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Oh, also, @theladye, your last paragraph reminded me of this guy on Tinder who kept pushing that we meet THAT VERY NIGHT. I told him I was heading to the gym, and he kept insisting. (“It’d be so awesome if we both met after the gym looking bad!”) So, I blocked him. At the time, I was also on maybe OKCupid? Can’t recall which site. But within several hours, he’d somehow found me on that site, too, and tried to pick up the conversation and ask me why I’d disappeared. Um, go away, Creepy!

    #686167 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    Yeah. When I was doing the dating apps guys often wouldn’t even start with a “hello” and when I would reply to their message with a “Hello” the best response I got was “”Based on your profile I figured I didn’t have to give you a real greeting.”” Because my listed hobbies were ‘manly’

    I have too gotten many of the guys who just cuss me out if I express I’m not interested. The guy who followed me to my car and tried to prevent me from leaving. I mostly got guys who would tell me how lucky I was that they even picked to talk to me. I’m not an ogre or a total bitch….So I guess?

    #686270 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Yeesh.

    #686273 Reply
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    bondgirl

    It saddens me that a page like this exists because people can’t handle rejection:

    https://www.instagram.com/byefelipe/?hl=en

    Either laugh or weep. Or both.

    #686353 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    @bondgirl I only looked at a few of those posts. I block or unmatch people at the first instance of an inappropriate comment. (And tbh, it hasn’t happened often.) Sure, some of those men got upset when they didn’t get immediate responses, and that’s definitely weird, but I also don’t understand why women bother responding to someone whose opening line is “DTF?” if that’s not what they’re looking for. What’s the point in engaging?

    #686357 Reply
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    em

    I hope this isn’t TMI but I am religious about using protection and this boggles my mind people would be so careless

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