Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Turns out im pregnant

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This topic contains 68 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar SpaceySteph 3 weeks, 5 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 69 total)
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  • #665407 Reply
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    saneinca

    Ok LW, you win. Your BF loves you and wants you back. Although he is hiding from you, he still wants to have a baby with you and want to support you. Although you guys always fight, some day in future you will have a great relationship. Satisfied ? No need for our advice. Carry on.

    #665409 Reply
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    Pink123
    Member

    I didnt say that .. i said i dont want him back.. i know its over. The point i was making is you can love someone but its not working so saying he doesnt love me isnt accurate… he does still love me hes even told me that and told me he thought about trying again…. his point was he doesnt want kids at all not just with me with anyone…. i was making the point that he can still love me but not want the relationship…. i didnt say at any point he wanted me back.

    #665418 Reply
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    Kate

    Pink, some people really don’t want to bring a child into the world. I am one of them. Maybe he is too. It’s not about having to “be a family,” he just doesn’t want to father a child. He wouldn’t want to be in the kid’s life, and that’s not good for a kid, to know his dad “didn’t want” him. My husband grew up without a bio dad in the picture and he can’t even talk about it, it’s so hurtful. When you were together and he said he’d “support you if you got pregnant,” I think he meant he’d support you through a termination. He definitely didn’t mean “I’ll support you through whatever you decide to do and stay by your side.” He meant, theoretically I’ll go to the appointment with you and help pay for the termination and make sure you’re looked after while you’re healing. Seriously, I’m sure that’s what he meant. He was never prepared to deal with having a child. Whether that’s because he’s a baby who still lives with mom and dad and was in a bad relationship, or truly doesn’t ever want kids, I don’t know, but the situation right now is he doesn’t want one, and it sounds like you don’t really want a kid right now either and aren’t in a good position to be a single mom.

    #665430 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    It doesn’t matter what he meant. Pink you are like a broken record and not one goddamn word about how YOU may be able to take care of a child. You have no business being a mother at this point in your life.

    #665431 Reply
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    Pink123
    Member

    Yeah makes sense kate…. it wasnt a bad relationship he admits that himself he just said he couldnt handle arguing he doesnt cope well with them etc .i think that could be because he lives with mum and dad and hes comfortable there…but yeah i dont think im ready for kids anyway so its best i dont go ahead.

    #665432 Reply
    bittergaymark
    bittergaymark

    NEWSFLASH! Most “good” relationships somehow don’t involve constant arguing. Or arguing to the point where it is simply too much for one partner to take.

    #665434 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Oh my god – Pink this is like looking at someone create a pro/con list where every single tick is con but they still can’t decide.

    Ok – you still have feelings for this guy – you know what helps? Moving the fuck on. Having this baby is not going to help with that and is going to be a reminder that he let you down at every turn. I’m not advising you to terminate or not terminate – that is entirely your choice but I am going to point out the obvious: Having this baby ties you two together for the next 19 years (adding a year for pregnancy folks).

    So if you are desperate to be a single mom with minimal financial support from someone who treats you like garbage. Go for it. But know that it will be HARD.

    He is not going to do right by you – his words don’t match his actions. They never will. This is not going to change it.

    #665438 Reply
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    Pink123
    Member

    Yes i understand that and your right… i wont be going ahead as its not right for me…. i never said i was trying to get him back… yes i still love him but i know its over.. . The hard part has been him messing me about. He wanting to remain friends me saying no to that then him txting me leading me on and me going mad saying we cant be friends its to hard and then him banging on my front door and window wanting his laptop back when i told him i didnt want to see him he could get it from my sister…. i only got in touch with him to tell him about me being pregnant…. he ended things with me but kept on touch saying he still loves me saying he thought about giving things another go etc…. all that wasnt fair to me… so yeah im like a broken record but can you blame me…. i havent spoke about how id loom after the child as im going to terminate thats why.

    #665439 Reply
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    Kate

    Have you taken any advice that anyone gave you on your two or three previous threads? Did you block him and go no contact? Did you read “It’s Called a Breakup Because it’s Broken?” If you had, I feel like you’d be getting it by now and not being a broken record. Is anything getting through?

    #665440 Reply
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    Pink123
    Member

    Yes i did block him but as i said i had to unblock him to tell him i was pregnant

    #665441 Reply
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    Kate

    I mean I think I said about 5x on your first thread that he’d probably be back talking about trying to make it work. And everyone said if you can’t get along and break up because of arguing, it’s not a good relationship. How is everything such a confusing surprise? You have to start pulling yourself together.

    #665443 Reply
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    bondgirl

    Kate, that is indeed a good read. And by good, I mean truthful and insightful. It was super helpful for me to read after my last breakup.

    And no, I don’t think anyone is getting through to this person. With every new post all I hear is blah blah blah I know it’s over but I know he still loves me.

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