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Dear Wendy

Update from the guy who "ghosted" his GF

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This topic contains 21 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar ArgyllWisp 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #718892 Reply
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    Ale
    #718900 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    I feel kinda bad for the poor guy.

    #718901 Reply
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    Miss MJ

    Eh, seems to me like he still doesn’t understand the concept of personal responsibility. He tries to blame Sylvia (via her husband’s prominence in the community) for how he was treated, whines about the internet’s reaction and throws a bitter betty pity party about he’s now unemployed and has to move and his SO can’t live with him after he, you know, RESIGNED HIS JOB. He could have sucked it up, worked the year and found other employment, but it was just intolerable that the efforts the company was making to try to prevent issues down the line would inconvenience him. Dude needs to grow the fuck up already.

    #718902 Reply
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    MissDre

    Yeah… I think resigning on the spot was kinda dumb. I mean…. work the year and see how things go, or at least look for a new job while having the security of your current job and regular income.

    #718903 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Resigning on the spot is designed to send a message, I think. Most people when taking or leaving a job want to take time to think about it first. Even if they’re pretty sure. He either wanted to stick to ’em or he was just super pissed and reacted off of that.

    I don’t really feel bad for him. He’s the one who thought it was a huge deal to begin with and freaked out, and then, when the company acknowledges it is something that needs to be dealt with, he starts saying bad stuff about it. If everyone was as mature about it as he described, I’m sure that after some time where things went fine, they’d probably relax a little on whatever requirements they put on him.

    #718904 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    It just seems like bad judgment after bad judgment on his part. I don’t get why he’d bring her *work email address* into the mix. WTF? Once you do that, you’re making it the school’s business, no longer a personal matter between yourself and Sylvia. It reads to me like that plus the note he dropped to HR (again, what the fuck???) is what got the chair involved.

    And then resigning on the spot? He says he needed to do so, but doesn’t explain why. I think he just got fired up and didn’t think it through.

    He brought this all on himself through dumb decisions.

    #718912 Reply
    Moneypenny
    Moneypenny
    Participant

    Wow… I feel a tiny bit bad for him. But, I would NOT have resigned on the spot! (Sleep on it!) Nor would I have brought the whole thing to HR. Yikes. Those were bad moves on his part. He does seem to be playing the victim too.

    #718915 Reply
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    Vathena

    I love that HE was the one who told HR, but then he blames Sylvia for bringing the director into it. What?! No, the organization is clearly going all out on the CYAs here. WTF else did he expect them to do after he brought it up to HR? It sounded to me like they were being exceedingly reasonable and professional, trying to protect both Sylvia’s job AND his.

    #718917 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    It amazes me how many people think HR is this friendly group that’s on your side and will help you with whatever issue you’re having. NO! My own mother is in HR and I would literally never go to HR for anything. Just no. No. No.

    MAYBE if I was being sexually harassed. But even when that did happen to me, I spoke with the guy’s boss and my own boss before going to HR.

    I was laid off by an idiot from HR who misspoke and made it easier for me to claim what I claimed to get more severance.

    I’ve heard nightmare stories from people who went to HR in confidence about something and ended up having to resign.

    Just don’t do it.

    #718918 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    “They relocated because of his business opportunity, not because she would be stalking me or would orchestrate this in some elaborate vendetta.”

    ^I found this sentence odd. I didn’t think it had crossed anyone’s mind that Sylvia would be stalking him?

    And YES, super weird that he’d blame Sylvia for getting the chair involved when HE went to HR! I don’t feel bad for him.

    #718939 Reply
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    Kate

    Interesting, there are details here about what the “measures” were. Did I miss it in the original link?

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/ask-a-manager-guy-who-ghosted-ex-became-his-boss?utm_term=.bfYBW6b7vA#.kdx0Pmxdze

    Anyway, dude, I doubt any of that would have come up if you hadn’t EMAILED HR OMG WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT!!!

    And yeah, he should have stayed and looked for another job. Resigning was stupid.

    #718942 Reply
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    Ange

    I’m not going to feel sorry for someone who creates a bad situation then amplifies said bad situation and orchestrates his own terrible outcome. Literally all of it could have been avoided if he’d taken even the smallest steps towards not being a dickhead.

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