This topic contains 21 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by ArgyllWisp 4 months, 3 weeks ago.
September 26, 2017 at 9:42 pm #718958
This guy is a grade-a douche who acts like a victim when he has been the direct cause of every negative outcome in that scenario. Sylvia, wherever you are, you dodged a major bullet.September 27, 2017 at 5:46 am #718979
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around this. I’m not sure Allison’s advice to email Sylvia’s personal email address was even right. If he hadn’t put in writing his acknowledgement of what he did wrong, there’d be no record. She would have started the job, he could pretend not to have been aware until she started, he could have acted like nothing was wrong. The burden would be on her to go to HR and say, this guy is my ex who walked out on me years ago. And they’d be like, “oh, hmm.” And ask him about it, and he could be like, yeah, we dated years ago. I didn’t realize!
Would they have put these “measures” in place then? Maaaaaybe, I doubt it. If so, I don’t think they’d feel so punitive that he’d have to resign. Idk, I’m not saying that’s ethically the best thing he could do, but it sure beats emailing her effing work email AND HR and squarely putting the target on himself.September 27, 2017 at 8:08 am #718988
I’m gonna need a third update on how the now girlfriend takes this news, and if ultimately they stay together lol. I mean if I found out my boyfriend handled a situation like this, I’d be really hesitant to join my fortunes with his.September 27, 2017 at 11:07 am #719016
He almost sounds, I dunno, like he’s an alien species, like he doesn’t understand how hu-mans interact.September 27, 2017 at 11:53 am #719021
@ashley I was thinking the same thing! Resigning on the spot was a bad move, imo, and I’d be pissed if my partner did this. And yes, it’d also make me wary about a future with them.September 27, 2017 at 11:56 am #719023
That and the overall issue that he can’t seem to STFU when it matters, and when it DOES matter, he can’t seem to say jack shit. That’s not a guy you can count on.September 27, 2017 at 1:19 pm #719037
This update was covered on my local morning radio show. Listened to them talking about it on the drive into work. Except they were blaming THE GIRL for being problematic, calling her a child who couldn’t grow up and get over something that happened so long ago. They were under the impression that SHE got him fired.
I wanted to call in and be like WTF, you are missing half the story!September 27, 2017 at 1:31 pm #719038
The woman, Sylvia, did nothing whatsoever, by his own admission. She didn’t even reply to his email.
If he’d kept his mouth shut, I wonder if she even would have mentioned to her boss or to HR that this guy is her ex. She probably should have, but she honestly might not, being new and not wanting to rock the boat. Yeah, he should have been looking for a new job, but he would have been able to stay employed and *in the fucking country*
What a moron. I feel like so many people don’t know how to just shut up.September 27, 2017 at 1:52 pm #719040
I don’t feel bad for him. He’s still blaming Sylvia. He sent a note to HR, and then the chair met with him, yet he blames Sylvia for “getting the chair involved”. Even if Sylvia had asked the chair to be present, I would still think it’s reasonable for her to not want to talk to him alone. He talks like he’s entitled to “sort things out between us” – alone. I think he’s entitled to no such thing.
Then he goes on about nepotism. I don’t see nepotism in this situation whatsoever. The measures described don’t sound punitive to me, but even if they were so what? He thinks he shouldn’t be punished? Tough! Bottom line is he chose to resign because socializing with his coworkers was sooo important to him. I’m not sympathetic. There are other ways to meet friends. I don’t see how limiting socializing with your coworkers is “punitive”, “unattainable”, or worth resigning over.September 27, 2017 at 4:13 pm #719052
I think the idea of giving Sylvia a heads up was a nice one, but I really wonder what was in this email. He mitigates his responsibility all over his emails to the blog I bet he did the same when emailing her.
“Hey Sylvia, Looks like you’ll be working at my school soon. Small world! Hope you’re not still upset about that time I had to runaway from you and you got all stalkery about it. XOXO”