Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What are you willing to struggle for?

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Cleopatra_30 Cleopatra_30 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #667154 Reply

    I hate those expectations in our workplaces now. It’s really sad to me. People are expected to work 60,70+ hours a week, especially if you are salaried and it’s just…depressing. My husband works in a company that emphasizes a work/life balance, but that’s not at all important in practice, IMO.

    What I will and do struggle for:
    My family
    Our lifestyle
    Our values

    I sacrifice a lot of my personal desires to care for our family or make the best decisions for all of us. Yes, most parents do. It’s very hard being a 24/7 caregiver. I’ve also sacrificed my career to do this. With my husband’s career, right now it just makes more sense for me to be at home with the kids. And I struggle with it frequently. It’s rewarding, and I love being with my maniac children, but I feel like I’ve lost significant earnings and career growth by stepping away for so long.
    Of course, with having kids, your costs go up. So we haven’t been taking many fun vacations, or eating out. We share a car, another cutback. That’s probably the most significant one. We live very close to my husband’s workplace, so he commutes by bike most often.
    He also kind of stepped down from a better paying, much higher stress position for a myriad of reasons, but just the reduction in stress and sometimes more time at home has been worth it, exponentially.
    We’ve also been discussing what the next step is…is sacrificing our life here on the west coast worth free childcare on the east coast and being closer to our families? If you asked me pre-children, god no. But now? It’s on the table.

    #667159 Reply
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    I guess I have sacrificed my career in order to be with my husband. I used to have a job where I was respected and had great opportunities like travel and work overseas and now I’m pretty much a minimum wage drone. We’re about to move again for the third time in four years so I can’t really afford to be too discerning when choosing jobs. I have one waiting for when we relocate, it’s not a great job but I’m so excited to just have a job instead of the usual unemployment gap, especially since this place doesn’t have many jobs.

    Early on we discussed me going back to the city where we met and I would work there while he moved wherever but I don’t think that would make for a good marriage. I would rather work on that than a job.

    #667176 Reply
    Cleopatra_30
    Cleopatra_30
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    At the top of my head the suffering I would go through to achieve my goals is physical pain. I have a bunch of races, including two half marathons, this year. So I will be doing and hoping to maintain some strict training and physical exertion to achieve the running race goals I have. I don’t know career wise as I am still beginning, but I am sure I will suffer soon enough to get where I want to.

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