Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

What is going on around here??

Home Forums General Chat What is going on around here??

This topic contains 82 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by avatar AmokAmokAmok 6 days, 17 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 83 total)
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  • #722466 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    “I apologize for the rant, but I don’t think it warranted being blown up on.”

    Okee. Just like I’m sure that my narcissistic former MIL really really genuinely thought that in the course of her phone call to me that was nominally supposed to be comforting me over my recently deceased son, that I would be interested in hearing about a how pissed off at me she was for something that happened **37** years ago, before I ever was even married to her late son. Even though she “shored up” her position by throwing in something she claims I did years later. Like, seriously? Hey, I’m sure I could have handled that 37-years ago situation better than I did. But so could she have. And frankly, it was actually laughably fucked up that she would bring such a thing up in the context of a condolence call. I might have been inclined to discuss it and even to acknowledge my 37-year old offense if there were any prayer of having her acknowledge her OWN part in the situation, but that’s never the way it rolled with her, and quite frankly, her timing sucked, so she got a non-profane but very blunt conversation from me. But that’s a narcissist for ya. Don’t be this.

    #722471 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Oh my gosh, Leslie, I’m so sorry for your loss!

    #722474 Reply
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    Flowerfly

    So sorry for your loss. Forget about the MIL she clearly annoys you. Your life is so much precious to worry about her

    #722475 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    And thanks, everyone, for good thoughts re. my grandma. I haven’t seen her in a year and had planned to visit her in St. Louis, with the kids and Drew, in four weeks. Plane tickets and hotel were already booked. She’s elderly and frail — my last living grandparent — and we know she won’t live forever, but I’d hoped to get in that last visit next month, maybe even give Jackson a lasting memory of her before she goes. But I don’t want her to be in any pain and to suffer any longer, so I’m just praying for some peace for her, in whatever form that might be.

    #722476 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Oh my god – me too. Your MIL sucks. Seriously. Where does she live. I want to go slap her. We Leslie’s have to stick together.

    #722482 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    Oh Wendy, can you get away right away to see your grandma just by yourself? Your prayers for her are the right thing, but you must be feeling so torn and sad.

    I really did laugh about my former MIL. She is so over the top it’s almost entertaining. The compassionate part of me understands that she is living in her own hell, and she will never be happy, and it ain’t my job to try. It’s actually kind of funny that she was even talking to me, because when she’d called me several years ago to bitch at me because my young adult kids weren’t calling her as she expected them to, I told her very calmly and politely that my complaint window was permanently closed, that my kids were adults and if she wanted to get in touch with them directly, she had their numbers, and whatever relationship she had or didn’t have with them was between them. I said I’d be happy to talk with her about anything else, but I would no longer entertain complaints about my kids. She was highly offended and said, “Well!! You’ll never hear from me again!” To which I said, “Okay! That’s your choice.” The only communications I had with her were to tell her about the births of her great grandchildren, because my daughter cut her off, and attended her brother’s wake. I had to tell her about my son, and no surprise, she had to make it about her. Hah. She said I’d never hear from her again. Fine with me.

    #722483 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Your former MIL sounds like a nightmare! You handled everything really well. Again, I’m really so sorry about your son. I cannot even imagine.

    Re. seeing my grandmother right away, it just happens that Jackson’s birthday is Monday and his bday party in Sunday. It’s the first bday party he has wanted for himself in three years and Drew and I want it to go smoothly (he has sensory and social issues, so there are some challenges that I want to be here to help with). My grandmother knows how much I love her and that I was planning to come see her very soon. I am very at-peace with our relationship, and I know she would want me to be here with Jackson.

    #722488 Reply
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    Rangerchic
    Participant

    Oh happy birthday to Jackson! And I hope his party goes well and he has a great time. Birthday parties can be overwhelming as it is. My oldest always loved lots of people but she is very social. My youngest, not so much. She’s more introverted and usually only wanted a couple of friends.

    #722489 Reply
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    Leslie Joan

    Ah, it’s understandable that you need to stay, then, Wendy. It’s so good that your grandma knows how much you love her, and wise that you are at peace with whatever happens. Relationships are forged over a period of time, and since we can never know what will happen from day to day, it’s healthy to be able to know that there is no unfinished business between you, and she knows that she’s loved.

    Thank for the props – this woman really is a piece of work. There’s always something to be grateful for in regard to my son, which is what I’ve been trying to focus on, and doing the right thing as best I understand it to be, as I have done his whole life. Catering to the needs of a narcissist relative of his is way low on the list, needless to say, though I did my best when my kids were little and when I didn’t know anything about NPD. It’s always helped to try to find what’s amusing and ridiculous in any situation. Helps keep obnoxious people from getting under my skin; I wouldn’t allow anyone that victory.

    #722490 Reply

    I’m not crying you’re crying.

    Leslie I’m so sorry for your loss and your asshat MIL. Wendy, I think you put it beautifully, I hope your grandma finds peace however that is. She’s clearly loved. Happy birthday to Jackson, I hope the little guy has a ball.

    #722491 Reply
    Lianne
    Lianne

    Wow. What a fucked up post.

    Wendy, I am so sorry about your grandmother. Grandparents are so special and it’s amazing that you’ve had her for so long. But I also know how sad it is when the end is near. I am glad you’re at peace. I hope she finds some soon, too.

    #722492 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    Count me as another reader since the Frisky days. I’m sorry about your grandma, Wendy. Sending good thoughts your way. Same to you, Leslie Joan. What a tough thing to go through.

    There is hopefully an upside to this thread though. Unwanted_Truth can now go away forever!!! This person hasn’t added a single comment of value to any conversation on this site. Literally, every comment has been some asinine, mean, eye-roll inducing nonsense for YEARS. And ohhh the irony of the username. Bye, Felicia!

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