August 1, 2014 at 4:09 am #278891
I’ve noticed that some guys go for the crazy girls and get bored of the good girls “like me”… why do you think that is? Wouldn’t it be stressful to make sure the girl doesn’t go too crazy? I know a guy whose gf punched him in the face while driving a car..they broke up..and then he got back with her!August 1, 2014 at 9:34 am #278942
Everyone (and i do mean EVERYONE) has their own level of crazy. everyone has to decide how much crazy they can handle. if someone ‘gets bored’ with you, then they are not the person you should be dating. move on, find a right person for you.August 1, 2014 at 9:42 am #278948
What Crochet Ninja said, and also: Guys are often willing to put up with a certain amount of crazy if the woman is hot. Also, crazy = unpredictable and unpredictable can be exciting. Sometimes with a crazy person that you aren’t a good fit with, the sex can be amazing. Another thing is that the woman might be an awesome girlfriend, say, 80% of the time, and completely batshit the other 20%. So yeah, she’s crazy, but a lot of times she’s cool and fun.
What else are you bringing to the table besides being a “good girl?” What do you offer in a relationship that guys would value and want to hold on to? It’s something to think about.August 1, 2014 at 9:45 am #278951
PS – if you’re interested, the relationship blogger Evan Marc Katz has a very recent blog entry giving advice to a guy with a crazy dramatic girlfriend, and if you read it, it helps shed some light on why guys put up with crazy.August 1, 2014 at 12:02 pm #278971
As a “crazy-girl-who-is-actually-a-low-maintenance-girlfriend”, who has seen her guy friends go for the crazy girls – it’s 1) about the drama and entertainment and 2) the sex. There is a myth that crazy girls are crazy in the sack.
Honestly, some are damned great in bed. Others are like a plank. It’s hard to predict who will do what.
So – ultimately it’s the drama and entertainment (sex is entertaining too). They enjoy the rollercoaster of it all. The highs, the fights, the make-up sex, the weepy lows where they can try to comfort with sex, etc.
Continue being yourself and don’t let it get you down. Eventually you’ll find the right person who isn’t into all of that high maintenance drama.August 1, 2014 at 12:25 pm #278975
Yeah when I hear women complain that guys only like crazy girls it reminds me of when guys complain that girls don’t like “nice guys” (TM). You aren’t really capturing the whole pictures. Just being sane, like just being nice, does not earn you a partner, so to speak. People couple up with others for a myriad of complex reasons. What’s crazy to you might be passionate to another. Also what Kate said re: sex, lol.August 1, 2014 at 12:42 pm #278981
Men go for crazy chicks because they’re also crazy hot. It’s a theorem that was proven by Barney Stinson with the Hot/Crazy scale.
http://how-i-met-your-mother.wikia.com/wiki/Hot/Crazy_ScaleAugust 1, 2014 at 12:53 pm #278984
Agreed with @HMC. It just reminded me of the “Why do girls always go for assholes?” thing. People are complex and are attracted to others for lots of reasons. Yeah okay, maybe a girl is crazy (and by what definition, because I know I can on occasion be kind of crazy, and so can everyone else I know), but she has other qualities that make her attractive. And they probably aren’t getting bored with you because you’re a “good girl”, they just aren’t the right match for you.
It’s counterproductive to think of attraction and love in such simple terms.August 1, 2014 at 2:32 pm #279010
Plus, people will choose negative stimulus rather than no stimulus at all (remember the recent study where people would purposely give themselves many painful electric shocks when there was nothing else to do?).August 1, 2014 at 2:40 pm #279013
I’d say I’m pretty mellow and easy going.i like to enjoy life and stuff like that..I’m clean cut no drinking or smoking. I can get emotional but hey it pretty normal. And I’ve been told my personality is rocking!:)August 1, 2014 at 2:59 pm #279016
A good friend of mine always has crazy girlfriends. With his current one, he will call me every few months or so claiming he is leaving her and needs to stay at my place. He’ll stop by for a day then gets back with her. It’s quite comical to me at this point.
However, I’m always curious if these men who always like the crazy somehow make otherwise calm or sane women just snap. I’ve never been a crazy woman myself, but if I were to date my friend I just mentioned, I think I could have some crazy moments which would be out of character for me. This obviously isn’t true for every case, it’s just a mini theory of mine that maybe some men stir up, or bring out the crazy that some women can usually control.August 6, 2014 at 2:58 pm #280162
Obligatory request that we not use “crazy” to describe melodramatic people… It’s a lot like when men gaslight “the crazy ex-girlfriend” and as someone with mental health issues I know I get pretty offended being lumped in with the dramatic attention-craving gals & guys (as do a lot of the other MI people I know…)… With my usual mental health & feminist PSAs out of the way:
I think AmyP has a really good point – drama is at least memorable and stimulating (even if it’s a negative stimulus). Routine/Low Maintenance/Comfort – especially at the beginning of a relationship (the beginning of any relationship should be tingly and exciting, right?) – can ‘kill’ things pretty quickly because of the lack of stimuli.August 6, 2014 at 3:54 pm #280196
I’m with HmC 110%. This is a massive generalization and while it seems like it’s all in good fun on How I Met Your Mother, in reality the frequency with which people toss around the “crazy girlfriend” trope is really problematic. It makes it easy for women’s valid concerns to be dismissed as “crazy” and it hurts us all.
To second what HmC is saying about Nice Guys (TM) not being entitled to a woman just because he maintains a basic level of human dignity (or so he claims), maintaining a basic level of sanity does not entitle a person to a relationship, either. Nothing does, actually. You just have to be a good person and put yourself out there. That’s how life works.August 6, 2014 at 5:28 pm #280209
It is not just exciting and unpredictable or moody that I am talking of, but some women are actually mentally unstable and it is painful to see how they manipulate situations with men. Don’t worry, if they ever marry the guy, they will divorce, and by the time they are my age (50′s) they are no longer cute and hot and they end up overweight, alone and bitter. Nice girls who have good life habits and good diets and exercise stay married, once they find the right one do better in life in the end.August 6, 2014 at 6:02 pm #280216
@ATLIMBO – as a lapsed English major, I would have to ask that you not misuse or appropriate words like “dramatic” or “melodramatic” in imprecise or non-theatrical contexts. It just dilutes their real meaning, and harms the economic viability of real theatre actors trying to earn a living from their meagre skills. Meanwhile, “crazy” is actually rarely used by self-aware people like DWers to denote actual mental illness, just as “bitchy” is rarely used to describe actual canines. As Rush Limbaugh once famously said, “Words mean things.” Like, lots of things. With my usual smart-assed and anti-PC-language-police disclaimers out of the way….
My long-ago ex was a bit nutty. And it was highly stimulating for a brief time, but ultimately stressful and bound for a violent end (violent toward me, not her). My wife M also has a fair amount of wackiness about her, but it is more fun and not so destructive and manipulative. There are lotsa flavours.
Oh, BTW, atlimbo, I’m not gaslighting you, which is when i try to convince you that your perception of reality is wrong, I’m just fucking with you for fun. No real offense intended, just a little tiny bit of snarky deliberate offensiveness.
Why do men go for the crazy chicks
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