Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Work bullying and harassment

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This topic contains 49 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Lauretta Gill 2 weeks, 6 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 50 total)
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  • #723164 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Kate for the win.

    #723166 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Yes to what Kate said.

    Also wanted to add one thing. It sounds like, from what you wrote, that you have been telling co-workers (e.g., your friend at the other branch who wrote the offensive e-mail) that the 19-year-old took things out of your drawers. Sure, your friend at the other branch is the one who sent the e-mail, but I don’t think it makes you look great to be the source of gossip, especially if you don’t have concrete proof that she took anything. Even if you feel you’ve been wronged, I’d try to rein it in with the gossiping. And if you ever get an e-mail like that again, don’t leave it in your inbox.

    #723167 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    A caution about email or chat apps (Skype, slack, etc) among co-workers… I’ve become SUPER paranoid about putting anything in writing at all, ever, about anyone, or saying anything negative. I used to be a lot more lax about it, but knowing what I know now about bosses pulling employees’ g-chats and such, I’d say keep it ALL offline. You also never know when something might get accidentally forwarded to someone who was talked about. It’s just not worth it to type anything you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of a news site, or a billboard, with your name on it.

    #723168 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Wait, this all started because she took some candy out of your drawer?! I think everyone in this office could deal with some serious lessons in live and let live.

    #723170 Reply
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    Ron

    The most bitter disputes often arise from the most petty aggravations. This seems a toxic office. I still think it is time to find a new job. LW is never going to win these people over and her friend seems the most toxic person in the whole story.

    #723171 Reply
    avatar
    LisforLeslie

    Kate nailed it. Your coworker is a pain but you have to manage your emotions and accusations. Also, clear all cookies from your computer browser and don’t store any passwords to private email or Facebook on your computer.

    L

    #723172 Reply
    avatar
    Anonymousse

    What are jet planes?

    #723173 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    I googled them after she said they were lollies, and I think they are gummies that look like airplanes.

    #723175 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Also, I would look for another job if I were you, LW. Yes, it’s wrong to take your co-workers things without asking, even if it’s just candy. And yes, you probably could have handled your reaction to the situation better. But on the whole, it sounds like you’re in a relatively negative/toxic work environment where at least some of the bullying is coming from the top down. That’s pretty bad, imo, and would make me incredibly anxious.

    I remember once years ago on the news, there was a short segment about co-workers stealing/eating one another’s lunches, and the problem was actually more widespread than I ever realized. To my knowledge it’s never happened anywhere I’ve worked, but I remember I was surprised by some of the stats.

    #723176 Reply
    avatar
    ktfran
    Participant

    Oh, it happens in my workplace. There is an e-mail that was sent two weeks ago:

    “An employee, who is celebrating a milestone anniversary with EDIT Company Name, brought goodies today to share with their Dept. Someone removed the items from the refrigerator and placed on the counter and helped themselves. The goodies were wrapped up in a plastic bag – inside a box.

    Whoever so rudely helped themselves – should reimburse this person the $30 spent.

    As a reminder, if it’s not yours – don’t touch.

    Thank you.”

    I’ve had carrots stolen before. Not even a package of those little nubs. I buy whole carrots every week, peel and cut into sticks. Yeah, those were stolen. Another coworker, had all the food in her little Whole Foods bag taken (hummus, sliced vegetables, chips, etc.) and the bag returned to fridge.

    It’s fucking nuts out there.

    #723178 Reply
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    Kate

    When I first started working here, twice I had food I’d put aside for later removed from the fridge. I asked if someone cleans the fridge out like on a daily basis and they said no. But nothing has disappeared since.

    #723179 Reply
    Lianne
    Lianne

    People are shameful. I would never have the audacity to steal someone’s food! I will admit, I’ve used others’ condiments in a pinch. Like, some people leave hot sauce or salad dressing in the fridge and I’ve “borrowed” some of that once or twice. And even that makes me feel incredibly guilty, and I stopped. BUt to take a whole bag of carrots or the like? Whaaaa????

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