Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Work bullying and harassment

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Work bullying and harassment

This topic contains 49 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Lauretta Gill 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 50 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #723220 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Liley

    Hi Flowerfly, thank you for your comments. It is a horrible position to be in and I really wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
    Thank you for your kind words. The 19 year old wants me to leave but why should I let her win? Why should I loose the job I love doing to make her happy?
    I am going to give it a good shot and do the best I can. If they are continually going to bully me after a months time then I will re think my options and go from there.
    The 61 year old already told me that our relationship will never be the same again after I tried to reason for her for the first time.
    The best I can do now is apologize to her first thing Monday morning and take it from there. Work hard and ignore their catty behavior on a daily basis

    #723221 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Liley

    I hope everything works out for you too! You are right, life is too short to be around negative and mean people.
    I just need to keep reminding myself that I haven’t done anything wrong. It is just my brain that won’t shut up at night which is the hardest.
    I literally have hit rock bottom

    #723239 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    Oh, this is not rock bottom, not by a long shot. Just pull yourself together.

    #723247 Reply
    avatar
    LisforLeslie

    Yeah – I think you may mean you have hit your limit. Meaning, you’re done with the place and people. And I wouldn’t blame you if you were.

    Hitting rock bottom means you have lost everything and everyone in your life.

    Buck up and buckle up because this shit is going to happen again. It’s all about how you choose to deal with candy-stealing, rumor-generating assholes.

    #723253 Reply
    avatar
    Kate

    Plenty of people wreck their careers and their marriages by behaving really stupidly. You’re not at that point. But you do need to rise above this and get really professional.

    #723311 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Liley

    Great advice leslie and Kate, thank you!

    #725956 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Liley

    Hi everyone me again. Just an update on how things are going. I ended up apologizing to my manager (the older lady 61) and from then onwards things were great. Myself and the younger one haven’t really spoken much since. Things were going great until today, the older one (manager) just stopped talking to me. She went back to her old self and was extra nice to the 19 year old.
    So I just continued working and left without saying goodbye to both of them. Question is, what do I do now?! The easy option would be to leave but I love this job so much and I also doffers not want to give them the satisfaction of me leaving however I am going to have to face being ignored and treated unfairly every day I go to work or until my manager snaps out of whatever she angry at me about. I have asked her if everything was okay twice to which she replied both time with “mmmmmhim”

    #725957 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Liley

    I think that maybe the 19 year old has told her something about me as she b#@$hes about a couple of other people there on a day to day basis

    #725961 Reply
    avatar
    LisforLeslie

    If this 61 year old is being manipulated by a 19 year old, the others in her peer group will already know that she’s a gossip and unprofessional as hell. Silent treatment at work? Please. If I recall, this woman isn’t your supervisor, so as long as you are getting along with your supervisor, you’re fine. Just be as polite as shit and say “Good Morning” and “Good evening” and even toss in a compliment here or there where justified (aka Cute Shoes if said shoes are indeed cute).

    If you want, ask for a quick chat over coffee, on you, and buy her a cup of coffee and ask her directly what changed. But honestly, it’s so much drama I can’t see the value in playing out this cycle over and over again.

    Oh – and winning is finding a good job that ALSO has good co-workers. In my mind, that’s the true difference between a good job and a great job. I work with awesome, amazing people and they make what could be an insufferable job so much better.

    #725967 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I mean, if you’re doing well there and making money and can ignore the stupid drama and do what Leslie says re: the 61-year-old, then sure, stick with it. It’s nice to like your co-workers and get along with them, but if you don’t feel like “I can’t stand this anymore or be successful here,” you don’t have to leave.

    #725985 Reply
    avatar
    CCL

    I used to work with a lady like this – in a department of three. She was the manager and then there was me and another girl. She would often pit us against each other in very subtle ways. She would talk smack about the other person, taking turns whoever it was which resulted in at least one of us feeling left out or ganged up on. Eventually I just stopped taking it personally, because it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her. I did my job, kept my nose down and stayed civil and professionally friendly. The other coworker and I knew what she was doing and just stopped engaging with her whenever she went through her ‘episodes’.

    #726018 Reply
    avatar
    Lauretta Gill

    Yeah the 61 year old is my manager and the 19 year old is spreading nasty things to her about me resulting in her not talking to me. It literally is silent at our desk which makes it awkward and hard as I work Monday to Friday. I guess I just need to start talking to the 19 year old to call it even with my manager again

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 50 total)
Reply To: Work bullying and harassment
Your information:




Comments on this entry are closed.