It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Trying to Keep the Family Harmony” who wondered how best to disinvite her stepdaughter’s husband from their family vacation after they announced, just days before the trip, that they were separating. Keep reading to see how the family vacation went in light of the recent drama.
On the very first night Marie posted a family picture on social media which began a flurry of angry texts from the new boyfriend. After that I was not aware of any contact from the boyfriend. By the next day Marie and her husband seemed cozier than ever. In fact, it soon felt like they were on a second honeymoon. The family trip I had imagined became a reality. It was a fabulous trip!
Upon return Marie moved back into their house – only to move out again the very next day, back to the boyfriend.
Since our return we have had little contact as we have all returned to work and have busy schedules. I keep encouraging my husband to call Marie to keep in touch. He is so angry he refuses to call. We live three hours away from Marie and the grandchildren, so it will probably be summer before we can see them again. There seems to be so much drama in their relationship, and I am trying to stay out of the drama while being supportive for the grandkids.
Oh, wow, those poor kids. It’s one thing for Marie to behave this way when she has only herself and her husband, who is a grown adult, to consider. But it’s incredibly irresponsible and reckless to behave like this when it involves kids who can’t create boundaries, let alone make any sense of what’s going on. I hope, for their sake, Marie’s husband can priortize the kids’ well-being since it’s obvious Marie cannot. And I hope for all of your sakes that the husband continues allowing you and your husband to be involved in the kids’ lives. Good luck.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.