It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “A Little Leery,” who’d been communicating with a guy long distance over the internet, Skype, and phone. She met him through her ex when they were both in relationships, and when they both became single, they began discussing the possibility of starting a relationship when he moved back to the states. “The only thing is,” she wrote, “he admitted to me that he used to be a cheater. He told me he has cheated on girlfriends in the past, including his most recent ex, whom he was in a long-term relationship with.” The LW wondered if she should give the guy a chance or believe that “once a cheater, always a cheater.” After the jump, find out what she decided and how things have turned out.
I was absolutely shocked. We had discussed being in a relationship once he got back to the states. He had asked me to visit him to “introduce me to his family and friends, because they would love me” (which I never did, thank god), and he even told me that he was in love with me. After finding out he was back together with his ex, especially after all of the things he’d said about her and (promised to me), I realized I simply couldn’t take being strung along anymore, and that he really hadn’t changed – he’s still a liar, and he’s still full of crap. I’ve stopped talking to him for good, and I’m focusing on myself for a while. I know I didn’t take your advice (or the readers’ advice) when I should have (and deep down, I knew at the time I should have), but I think I needed to learn this lesson the hard way. It’s one mistake I won’t make again.
Thank you again for your thoughtful response and for your readers’ thoughtful responses as well. I truly appreciated all of your input. — No Longer Leery 🙂
Live and learn, live and learn. At least you didn’t invest any in-person time in this d-bag! Thanks for the update, and best of luck to you in the future!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.