It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Anxious About Love” who was embarrassed when she said “I love you” to her boyfriend of five months, and he responded with, “Are we there yet?” Keep reading to see whether she finally heard those three little words.
I found a job in the same city (not in the US) so that we could be together. I will still take the job — it’s a fantastic opportunity for my career — but clearly the personal reasons for moving to a new city are no longer there. I’m nervous and less excited now, but I’m trying to focus on the positives at this point.
I wish it was happier news, but thank you to the DW community for your advice! I suppose I should have seen a red flag earlier in the relationship (what’s up, hindsight?) but he did say “I love you,” several times and I trusted in those words. — Duly Duped
Very sorry to hear of this betrayal, but I hope you can move on swiftly and enjoy your new job at least. Good luck! Lesson to everyone: Beware of someone who says “Are we there yet?” or something similar when you make an expression of love. There are other, much kinder, ways you can accept such a statement without replying with the same sentiment if you aren’t ready.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.