I thought A LOT about this decision, but in the end, no matter how I got put into this situation, I would majorly regret not being in my sister’s wedding. I think she would have understood if I told her I could not go, and would have been disappointed but not angry, but I just cannot imagine not being a part of it and not being in her pictures ten years down the line. I think the way she picked the date was crappy, but that doesn’t really matter now, y’know?
I talked to my friend’s maid of honor right after I found out (and was crying), and she said that my friend will absolutely understand. So then I talked to my friend. She was disappointed, but kind, not angry, and said she actually felt bad for me. Fortunately, it will not mess up her plans money-wise or other type of planning-wise; it just sucks that I won’t be there. She said she could tell that this was really stressing me out and not to worry. She was awesome.
So, in the end, I am so sad to miss my friend’s wedding and let her down, but would regret not being at my sister’s wedding forev. Not to mention that I think my sister would be MORE hurt that I missed her wedding than my friend would be for my having to back out of hers (really). When I was pondering all of this, I tried to put what I felt about it out of my mind and try to put my sister’s and my friend’s feelings first, and I honestly think this solution will cause less hurt in the end. The fact that my sister chose the date without asking me and put me in a tough place SUCKS, but I think this was really my only option in the end.
Needless to say, I was a little shocked that almost none of the comments reflected my sentiments! I hope I did the right thing.
In this situation, there truly was no right or wrong. You can only do what you feel in your heart is the best choice for you and what you believe will create the least hurt feelings (yourself included), and, if going to your sister’s wedding is that choice, then, of course, go to your sister’s wedding! Go, have fun, and don’t feel guilty about missing your friend’s wedding. You were put in an impossible position where there was no way to make everyone happy, and, luckily, it sounds like everyone involves appreciates that and doesn’t want you to spend another minute worrying about this.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.