It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Caring Girlfriend” whose boyfriend of one year never spoke of his childhood or brother who committed suicide eight years ago. “I feel like I am missing a big chunk of who my boyfriend was and is by not knowing really anything about his brother.” She wrote. “I know some people may want to talk about their past but need some gentle prodding in the right direction. Any advice about this situation would be much appreciated.” After the jump, find out whether she’s learned more about her boyfriend, his brother, and his childhood.
I hadn’t been planning on bringing anything up about his brother/childhood but fate ended up intervening a little bit. About a month ago, I was invited to dinner at my boyfriend’s house with his mom and some family friends. These family friends actually babysat my boyfriend and his brother when they were really young. They ended up trading a bunch of stories about my boyfriend (some including his brother) about when he was younger. It was so great to hear about his childhood and I really enjoyed it. After dinner, I just told him that I really enjoyed hearing about his childhood and left it at that.
This gave me an excellent gauge of what childhood experiences to bring up. I have asked about childhood hobbies, experiences, and other things when I talk about my own experiences. Sometimes he mentions his brother and sometimes he doesn’t. I am completely fine with that, and feel much closer to my boyfriend now.
Thanks for the great update. Isn’t it funny how sometimes fate intervenes when we open ourselves to its help? Glad things are working out for you.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.