It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Cat and Mouse,” the woman who continued an on-and-off friendship with an ex-boyfriend who broke up with her three years ago. Things came to a head when she ran into him and his new girlfriend and told the new girlfriend not to feel threatened by her. Her ex was pissed, drama ensued, and the LW wondered whether she should even continue the friendship. Keep reading to see where things stand now.
It’s been a few months since I told my ex to stop contacting me for good. Except for one suspicious blocked late night call (that I suspect was from him but did not answer), he has kept his word and I have been able to truly move on from that chapter of my life.
I would like to clear up some things from my previous letter though. For one, I think the DW audience focused waaaay too much on what I said to the new girlfriend when we were introduced. I didn’t say “oh, don’t worry about me” with a wink and a swish of my hips or anything. I simply said what I said because the girl looked annoyed to meet me (arms crossed, frowning, etc.). So maybe what I said could have been misinterpreted during this awkward introduction (which happened in the middle of my work shift, mind you) but I had nothing but good intentions. Also, my ex, during this introduction, did not help the situation — he fidgeted, giggled nervously and eyed us both like there was going to be a catfight.
Another thing that I didn’t mention was that during our break-up and while he was dating new girl, he frequently called me for support during his fights with her and asked me on at least five different occasions if he could come over to my place and vent with me. I didn’t mention it before because I thought it would cast him in a bad light, but I do want to give DW readers a better understanding of how he was the one to always reach out to me.
One important thing that I have realized is that I was creating most of this ex drama simply by letting it in my life. After cutting him out, I have become a much happier person and more drama-free. I have learned from this experience that some things are just not worth the trouble, especially an ex. I thank Wendy and the DW community for helping me to realize that this kind of drama was not worth it and that the best thing I could do was move on from it completely.
While I don’t have a new boyfriend or fiancé to brag about in this update, I have been dating and have met a new guy with potential. I am also planning to study abroad next year in the country of my dreams and graduate from college a year after that. I can’t wait to see what else the future holds for me.
Thanks for the update and best of luck to you in the future!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.