Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Concerned Sister and Aunt” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Concerned Sister and Aunt,” whose sister, a single mother, was planning to elope with a former boyfriend she’d only been reunited with a few weeks. After the jump, find out whether her sister went through with the elopement or if the LW was able to persuade her to wait.

Thank you for responding to my question about my sister eloping with a man she was dating for two months. Yesterday was their two month anniversary and sure enough, they went to the courthouse and got married. I took your advice and all of the readers’ advice to heart and definitely agreed that I needed to approach it as a concerned aunt instead of trying to control what she does. I spoke with her about it and my concerns about the kids and we discussed it for a little while, but ultimately it made little difference (I really didn’t think it would, but had to say something). Apparently, she is also considering a surgical reversal of her tubal ligation in order to have more kids because her new husband wants two, but she doesn’t seem truly convinced. I guess that is a wait and see situation. She seems happy and I got a chance to see her new husband with the kids and he does seem to be good with them, so I guess that’s all I can ask for. The kids know they can always come to me with problems and they spend at least one weekend a month at my house. I wish I could be there more for them, but they do live over an hour away. Thank you again for pointing me in the right direction and giving me a way to discuss this with her without sounding like I was just trying to control her (especially because I am actually 6 years younger than she is).

Thanks so much for the update! I’m glad you took everyone’s advice, and it sounds like you had realistic expectations, so you aren’t too disappointed in the outcome. Your sister’s kids are really lucky to have such a sweet and caring aunt like you!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

4 comments… add one
  • avatar

    BoomChakaLaka May 10, 2011, 3:06 pm

    That’s great that you took everyone’s advice. Honestly, this seems like the best outcome because you still get to see your nieces and nephews and haven’t alienated your sister or her husband. I truly hope it works for the best.

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  • avatar

    spaceboy761 May 10, 2011, 4:31 pm

    … and keep your guest bedroom clean just in case.

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  • taurons

    atlimbo May 11, 2011, 9:34 am

    Wow – what an awesome aunt! I truly hope things work out for everyone involved.

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie May 11, 2011, 9:16 pm

    Sometimes we all need to dump our emotional baggage and beloved Wendy provides a great place to do that. While not always what we want to hear, it comes from her heart and her pontificating contributors. Even some old farts like me that like to meddle from a safe distance.

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