It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Dinner Date Dilemma” whose boyfriend of two months refused to have dinner with her parents while they were in town. I called out the guy for sounding young and immature but many of you said that two months was way too early to meet the parents and he was right to refuse. (I still stand by my initial response, by the way. If parents happen to be passing through town and invite you and your new significant other out for dinner, and s/he refuses, that’s a red flag in my book). Anyway, a happy update after the jump.
Thank you so much for your advice and the advice of your readers. (I laughed out loud when you guessed our ages, because we aren’t that young – I’m 26 and he’s 31, so youthful immaturity was no excuse for him.) Fortunately, I have a good update. I should probably point out that I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everybody, so this is the first time I’ve had to introduce a boyfriend to my parents that they didn’t already know, and that’s partially why I really didn’t think it was a big deal. It also wasn’t my idea to do the dinner, and I was trying to keep my parents happy since they really wanted to meet this special guy in my life.
After our initial discussion about him refusing to meet my parents, we didn’t speak for two days, and it sucked, but I told him his choices were to either go to dinner and get over it, or find something else to do that Saturday while I was gone. He found something else to do. I explained that it wasn’t so much that he was hesitant to meet my parents, but that he wouldn’t shut up with the reasons why it was a bad idea — I get it, let’s drop it and move on already! He apparently had an ex cheat on him right after introducing her to his parents, so he hasn’t introduced anyone to them since or met anyone else’s parents.
We agreed to not let this be a big deal after he apologized and I figured he’d meet them eventually. Two weeks after this argument he told me he loved me for the first time, and a week after that, he took me to his nephew’s birthday party where I met his parents and grandparents. I didn’t make a big deal about it even though I was nervous. They were great and we had fun at the party. We recently decided to go on a vacation and our trip would take us through my hometown, so I told him that we should really stop in and say ‘hi’ to my parents on the way to our cabin, and he agreed! So, the BF met my parents last week and he survived! They like him and he likes them, and we’ve made it to four months. Things are going well, and I appreciate all the words of support and advice from you and the readers. — Dinner Date Dilemma – Solved!
Wonderful update, thanks!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.