It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Ditched on New Years Eve,” who was upset that her boyfriend was going to spend NYE partying with his friends instead of hanging out with her at her parents’ place. After the jump, see whether they resolved the issue.
Thanks so much for your response, it was very helpful and helped me organize my thoughts – hard to do during finals week!My boyfriend and I are typically good at communicating and so this was unusual in that I hadn’t already told him that I was upset he was ditching me on NYE. I approached him about the problem, and was open with why it was stressing me out – the underlying issue of prioritization.
What you said about me wanting to spend NYE with my family and my boyfriend at the same time is spot on. After talking to my boyfriend and just telling him how I feel, and hearing him acknowledge that he was sad but that NYE isn’t a reflection of how much he loves me was pretty much all it took to make me feel better. We are splitting a plane ticket so I can fly up and see his family before Christmas. I know now that this NYE isn’t some cosmic sign of doom, it’s just how things worked out this year.
Here are some things the readers might want to know:
1) I actually party too – just not all the time! It is the particular mix of friends that the boyfriend will be partying with that night that’s just not my scene. Something different for NYE next year sounds like an awesome idea, I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before! He has other friends whom I love though, so don’t worry about that haha.
2) We actually have a ton in common – from politics to religious views, family values, senses of humor – but you would never know that from my plea for help! We wanted to spend some time being on our own in college before planning for a future together because we are very aware of how young we are, but we couldn’t stand it after five months haha.
3) I was fully aware that it is odd to want to spend NYE with my parents, which is part of why I wrote to Wendy – I wanted to gauge how much of an issue this really is – was it something that was even fair to ask? I don’t think it was, and it turns out it is a non-issue now, which makes me even happier! (PS He actually is pretty close to my parents, or I never would have entertained the idea to begin with).
Thanks your thoughtful and genuine advice – sometimes a girl just needs that unbiased third perspective to clear everything up. You (and the readers) are great!
Thanks for the update!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.