It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Dollars and Sense” who was thinking about moving in with her boyfriend of nine months but worried about their big difference in salaries (she makes more than three times what he makes). She wrote: “I think my main fear is that, as much as I love him, I’ll start resenting him once I’m paying a big chunk of his living expenses. Also, we will probably need to move out of the city center to find a place we can afford (since he won’t be able to contribute much rent money, and we want to find a place that’s bigger than my current apartment). […] Should we wait to move in together until he finishes school?” After the jump, find out what they decided to do.
As far as the money discrepancies that worried me so much a few months ago, the financial situation hasn’t changed much but my attitude definitely has. While he’s not currently able to contribute money for rent, my boyfriend pays half the bills and does most of the work around the house — dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc. We never really discussed the arrangement, which sort of arose on its own, but we both seem satisfied. Overall, I just love waking up with him every morning, and who pays for what doesn’t seem so important anymore.
We’d also expected to move to a bigger apartment this fall (ie. now!), but since everything is going so well in our tiny little home we’ve decided to put the move on hold. I think we figure that if we can be so happy together in 30 sqm, there’s no hurry to look for something else (which would undoubtedly mean moving out of the city center we love). Then again, maybe he just doesn’t want a bigger house to clean — just kidding!! 😉
Thanks for the update. You made a wise decision and I’m glad everything is working out so well for you!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.