It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Drunk Punch Love” who wondered if she should continue a long distance relationship she’d been in for about a year and a half with a man who was recovering alcoholic just recently out of rehab. She wrote: “Is it unhealthy to be in a relationship with him? He lives halfway across the country and is a recovering alcoholic. But I care about him more than I’ve ever cared about any guy and I don’t want to lose him.” After the jump, find out whether they’re still together.
See, the thing is, this relationship was my first real relationship. I’ve had plenty of crushes on guys over the years and I’ve had plenty of guys interested in me, but this was the first time that I really liked a guy who actually liked me back. So even when it became apparent that this was an unhealthy relationship, I still couldn’t give it up because I was terrified that I would never find anything like it again. And I gotta say, sometimes I still think that I won’t. I tell myself constantly that there are “plenty of fish in the sea” and that I will find someone else to love who will love me back, but I can’t help but get discouraged often. I have jumped right back into dating and have been out with several guys lately, and I still find that either the guy likes me or I like him and the feeling is never mutual. I don’t understand!
So I am still struggling with that, BUT I am proud of myself for moving on from this relationship. I know I probably stayed in it longer than I should have, but I don’t regret it at all. I think that I’ve grown a lot from being in it, and I know I’ve learned a great deal about relationships from it. But I feel ready now to move on and find something more healthy. I just hope I find something before I get too discouraged!
Thanks for the update! Glad to hear you’re feeling positive about your decision and your future. Just keep that attitude and remember it can take time to find the right person, so be patient.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.