Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Eaten Out of House and Home (And Wedding)” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Eaten Out of House and Home (And Wedding)” whose in-laws-to-be ate all her and fiancé’s wedding reception food before the actual wedding.

I wrote to you last year about my husband’s family eating all of our wedding food before our wedding and your wedding post on Tuesday reminded me to send an update.

First, I would like to thank everyone who agreed with me that I had every right to be upset. I felt much better, as I was terrified I was being this crazy bride.

We celebrated our one-year anniversary a few weeks ago, and I can say I still have some bitter feelings about the entire situation. It has led to some positive things in our marriage, though. For one: I now understand my husband so much more — like why he has always been very strange with food, even hiding it from me when we first moved in together. I also now put my foot down on visits from his family. His parents wanted to come for the Christmas holiday, and I said they were welcome for Christmas day and could have lunch with us but had to stay in a hotel. They ended up not coming for Christmas, but we met them for New Year’s at a hotel.

I do not think his family was being hateful or rude, but I do think my husband was raised in a household that was very selfish. His family seems to have this mentality of “me first,” which was something I was never raised with (in my house no one would ever take the last of anything). Our marriage is going great and our daughter is doing wonderfully which are the important things in life. I think my letter led many to think my husband was just in the background not helping when he actually was. Neither of us was aware his family would eat like that, and I did eventually tell him the rude comments made by his parents. My husband was right with me as I cried to my parents about all the food/beer that we could not afford. We have since paid back my parents, even though they told us not to worry about it. My husband’s parents made this very big deal at our wedding that they were giving us a honeymoon, and here a year later we still have not received any gift — not even a gift to the movies. His family does mention our wedding a lot, like about how fun it was and how it was a great family reunion.

We have a baby boy on the way due later this year and could not be happier. A wedding does not make a marriage. If I could do it again, I am not sure what I could change — maybe run off somewhere tropical and get married on the beach.

Thanks so much for all the support.?

 
Thanks for the update and congrats on your one-year anniversary and the baby on the way. Sounds like you guys have the right kind of attitude for a long, happy marriage. Best wishes to you.

***************

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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5 comments… add one
  • avatar

    j2 May 26, 2016, 1:16 pm

    Glad to hear this.

    I must confess that I have been vicariously seething about this ever since reading LW’s letter.

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    • bondbabe

      bondbabe May 27, 2016, 11:26 am

      Yep; this one will always piss me off for some reason!

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  • avatar

    Stillrunning May 26, 2016, 3:19 pm

    Good for you for setting boundaries around Christmas and keeping them out of your home. You sound like you’re getting along with them as well as you can and will not be suckered into hosting any more “family reunions.”

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  • avatar

    Boosker May 26, 2016, 8:42 pm

    Went back and reread the original letter and am so, so re-pissed for you. It does seem like his family has some weird food issues that might explain their incredibly rude behavior. Glad you and your husband have been able to move beyond the wedding debacle.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark May 26, 2016, 9:24 pm

    Happy things have worked out. Your letter remains one of the most bizarre on here yet. Not you, LW. Just that family seems so hilariously fucked up. The whole situation and how it played out was just… baffling to me. I hate to accept the fact that so many in the world are THAT fucking tacky… 😉

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