It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “First-Time Heartbreak,” whose letter appeared in a “Your Turn” column when she asked for advice on dealing with her first heartbreak. After the jump, read about how your great advice has helped her cope.
The breakup wound up being the kick in the ass I needed to really take control of my life. It was a great relationship up until right before it ended, but when things started to go downhill it went pretty fast. It took me a while to realize how unhappy I had been by the end of it, but thanks to the advice of commenters to stop thinking of him as the guy who I had been in love with, but rather as a new person who had decided he didn’t want me in his life anymore, I was able to separate my good memories of him from the person he is now. As soon as it ended I started contacting the friends I’d been neglecting because I was too busy moping about my own problems, which was immensely helpful. Getting out of my way and hanging out with people who care about my happiness made a big difference, and set the tone for how I handled the last few months.
I feel like an entirely different person than I was just a few months ago. I got a cat, which I’d been thinking about for a long time but finally decided to do after several commenters wrote about how their pets helped them through their breakups. I got a new job that I love. I just got back from a cross-country adventure with some friends that I decided to go on semi-impulsively, and in a few weeks I’m leaving on another trip that I’m really excited about. As badly as it started, this summer has turned out to be really great for me. I got a chance to get some perspective on my situation, which has apparently translated to calmness even when face-to-face with the boy who broke my heart. Thanks for the part you played in that, Wendy and commenters! I’m gonna be okay.
Aw, I love updates like this! So glad you’ve taken positive steps to move forward. Sounds like you’re doing great and we all wish you continued happiness.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.