It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from Gigi, the swinger in an open relationship who was considering sleeping with a man whose wife was unable to have sex and wanted to find a woman for her husband to screw. “To me, this doesn’t sound like a woman who is ‘absolutely sure’ she wants this to happen,” Gigi said. “I am very capable of having sex with someone and having it mean absolutely nothing. But I also am not sure I could do it knowing that this wife is sitting at home thinking about what her husband is doing.” Keep reading to see what Gigi decided to do.
The husband then started emailing me, from a different personal email. I kind of felt something wasn’t quite right; her emails had been very eloquent, perfect spelling, punctuation, etc. His first email was a mess, frankly. To the point where it seemed artificially bad. After that first bad one, his, too, became well-stated thoughts and paragraphs, free of misspelled words and errors. Interesting. Anyway, after a few days, I set a time and place to meet and talk. He cancelled the night before, due to a Boy Scout activity. He did apologize profusely, he wanted to set another meeting time, and I said it would have to wait since I had a very busy week coming up. He was fine with that, but Tuesday I answered one of his emails and it came back “permanently undeliverable – no account for this user.” Hmmmm….
Later that afternoon, I got an email stating that he was having email problems and, if I had sent anything, to try again. So I re-sent it, and it went through. That was the last I heard from him. I reached out one more time, to say that I assumed their situation had changed and good luck, etc. It came back undeliverable again. So I sent it to the wife’s email, just on a hunch, and it also came back with the same message, permanently undeliverable.
So, I guess a bullet dodged? It’s hard for me to fathom that a guy would go to that extent to get laid: faking a wife, setting up multiple email accounts, having an incredibly detailed back-story . . . But I suppose stranger things have happened. The other option is, of course, that, as I set up a meeting, things got too “real” and they scrapped the whole idea.
Interesting! I’d say at the very least, you dodged a bullet. Maybe even literally.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.