Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Having Doubts” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear a quick update from “Having Doubts” who was dating a man fifteen years her senior whose 17-year-old daughter had recently moved in with him, decreasing the amount of time and attention he could give the LW. She wrote, “I’ve been thinking I should wait another month to see what happens, but I’m having doubts. Do you think it’s worth hanging on to see what happens and, if so, what should I do to try to save the relationship?” Keep reading to see if she gave it another month and what happened.

I wanted to send you an update. I ended up taking your advice and ending the relationship with my boyfriend. I have since met someone new and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in a relationship.My new boyfriend is 36 years old, so there’s only a three-year age difference. We have a lot of fun going out and spending time together.

Great! See? Moving on when it’s time is a good thing and can open yourself to wonderful opportunities you might have missed wasting time where you had no future.

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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10 comments… add one
  • Lyra

    Lyra June 1, 2015, 12:28 pm

    This letter was definitely a record for “MOA” in Wendy’s advice! Glad the letter writer followed it!

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    Sami June 1, 2015, 12:50 pm

    long time lurker here but I HAVE to comment…. it’s been a week since you wrote in and already in a new relationship that you’re “happier than you’ve ever been”

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      Unwanted_Truth June 1, 2015, 1:04 pm

      ^^^ This. Exactly what I was thinking. Can we say back-burner guy?

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      jlyfsh June 1, 2015, 1:05 pm

      While still quick it looks like it’s been two months…

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        Sami June 1, 2015, 3:27 pm

        you’re right, I see it was March instead of May now… perhaps I just read it last week… I’m glad she’s happy and understand being excited, but even 2 months (if they’ve been dating since right after she wrote in and ditched the first guy) seems short to me, whether she was emotionally exiting the relationship already or not.

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      _s_ June 1, 2015, 1:15 pm

      Yeah, Wendy posted the original letter in March, not May.

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        ktfran June 1, 2015, 1:47 pm

        And also, doesn’t Wendy sometimes send a response to the LW before she publishes the letter? That could have been the case here. Or not.
        .
        Also, I think if you’re already thinking about an exit plan, emotionally, you could easily be ready for a new relationship.

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        jlyfsh June 1, 2015, 2:47 pm

        I agree, especially since the relationship she was in was pretty short. If you’re unhappy after only 4 months you’re probably more open to dating someone new anyway!

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      • gigi

        gigi June 1, 2015, 2:35 pm

        Also, I think its OK to be happy & excited about a new relationship!

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      Anna June 1, 2015, 2:28 pm

      Well, they’ve also been dating for only 4 months, so 2 months is half the time they’ve been dating. Doesn’t seem unreasonable. Isn’t there a saying that to be fully over someone it takes roughly 1/2 the time you guys dated?

      It’s not like she dated him for 2 years and decided 2 months was enough. Good for her for MOA. Not a lot of people take Wendy’s advice to do so.

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