It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Hopefully not 40-Year Old Virgin,” the 26-year-old self-described “nice guy” who had never kissed a girl. He had been dipping his toes into the online dating pool with only lukewarm reception. We all told him to change his attitude — and his profile! — STAT. Keep reading to see how he’s faring now.
First off: Wow. I’ve always prided myself on being able to understand where others are coming from, and to put myself in their shoes, and to give them good advice. When I read your response, it was like a splash of cold water. Scratch that, it was like the heavens opened up and friggin Niagra Falls came pouring out directly onto me. Thank you.
I read, and re-read, your letter and the responses from readers many, many times as I rewrote my profile on match. I took out the negativity and put in the quirkiness and boyish-yet-wise-beyond-his-years lens from which I view the world. And it worked! I met a woman who, after our second “date” (not counting the first meeting over a drink after work) I walked to her front door. She turned to me and said “Ok, NOW you stop being shy.” I had no choice but to go in for the kiss. Straight outta a movie, I know. Then after another date (where we kissed again)….she quite abruptly ended things. I still don’t get what happened; I guess you could say I got mind-fucked.
Ah well, C’est la vie. I’m keeping my profile alive, tweaking it now and then to incorporate what little I’ve learned from my limited dating experiences, but overall keeping that same positive outlook.
“I think I can, I think I can” said the little train.
I don’t know — I wouldn’t necessarily say you were mind-fucked. Dating is about getting to know people and seeing whether you match up in the long run. You can’t figure that out on a first date (I mean, not usually), so I don’t see how one could “abruptly” end things after a third date. End what? Three dates doesn’t really make a relationship. At any rate, keep on truckin’. It’s a numbers game — the more dates you have, the more experience you get and the better your odds of meeting Ms. Right. Good luck.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.