Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Hormonally Charged” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Hormonally Charged,” who was pissed that her long-distance boyfriend was no longer spending hours on Skype with her each day, choosing, instead, to hang out with friends occasionally and even play video games online. She swore it was her new birth control pills making her crazy. She planned to switch to a lower dose, but also said this: “My boyfriend told me the other day that I’m becoming ‘too much to handle’ and that made me feel horrible. It hit the side of me that’s not affected by hormone-imbalances and I felt like I’m letting him down.” After the jump, find out how she’s doing after switching pills and if her boyfriend is still in the picture. and planned to switch to a lower dose, but also said this: “My boyfriend told me the other day that I’m becoming ‘too much to handle’ and that made me feel horrible. It hit the side of me that’s not affected by hormone-imbalances and I felt like I’m letting him down.” After the jump, find out how she’s doing after switching pills and if her boyfriend is still in the picture.

Turns out, it was the hormones. I got off those pills and everything really calmed down. We talked, I apologized, and things are going great again. It was a rough couple weeks when I finally did stop taking them, but he insists I am doing much better and he can finally relax again. I no longer feel the need or want for him to be around all the time. In fact, I’d rather him NOT be around all the time. I can finally get into reading and embroidering like I used to. Those pills tore me up and I couldn’t focus or become interested in anything. I am so much happier without them. Granted, you are correct: I do need some serious therapy. I have been through so much in the past. I’m working on getting in with someone I am comfortable with.

Until then, as your update, things are going swimmingly again and I am so glad I am off those god-forsaken pills.

 
Glad to hear it, and thanks for the update.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

26 comments… add one
  • avatar

    justpeachy June 17, 2011, 1:49 pm

    That’s why my husband and I call my birth control pills my “bitch pills”. Hormones are just a pain in the ass.

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      Sarah June 17, 2011, 1:53 pm

      They must not be that big of “bitch pills” if your husband is brave enough to call them that.

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        justpeachy June 17, 2011, 2:01 pm

        Trust me, I had called them that for weeks before he got the courage.

        And he also made sure there was at least 20 feet between us.

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    spanishdoll June 17, 2011, 1:53 pm

    BC pills are some serious business. I’m one of those girls who can’t handle even the low-dose pills…I tried three different types with awful results. I spent 6 months on Yaz last year, and I slowly became unrecognizable to myself and to my boyfriend. I cried at least every other day, nothing made me happy, and when I was apart from my boyfriend I was an absolute emotional wreck (like, hugging my pillow while crying my eyes out)! Not to mention the other horrible side effects like hair loss, joint cramps and stomach aches. 🙁

    The problem is, it creeps up on you so gradually that you don’t even realize it. I even *knew* that pills made me depressed, but I chalked up my sadness to our relationship flaws because the depression felt SO. REAL.

    For any ladies who are on BC, and are feeling uncharacteristically depressed and sobby, please consider that the pills might be the source.

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    Riefer June 17, 2011, 2:17 pm

    This is why I’ve never gone on any type of birth control pill. Besides the fact that I’m awful at remembering to take medication every day, I don’t want my personality or my mood to be constantly affected. My boyfriends (and now my husband) have always been ok with using a condom, and I’ve never had a pregnancy scare with them. Bonus is that now that I’m married, my husband takes care of the birth control and I don’t even have to think about it. 🙂

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    Lexington June 17, 2011, 2:18 pm

    WHAT? Hormones can mess with your emotions? FOR REALZ?!

    No, but seriously, I remember that letter and was super annoyed at all the people dismissing her fear that the birth control was exaggerating everything out of proportion. Hey guys, guess what, screw with your hormones and they will screw with you back. Dismissing that concern is like someone asking, “Hey, so I’ve been doing a lot of crack lately and my teeth are falling out and I have sores on my face. Do you think it could be related?” And going, “No, you need to see a doctor, because it’s clearly lupus.” Hint: It’s never lupus.

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    • MissRemy

      Ally June 17, 2011, 2:33 pm

      Except that one time when it totally was lupus 😀

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    Valerie June 17, 2011, 2:20 pm

    This is a great update. It’s always such a relief to be able to pinpoint the source of whatever symptoms you’re experiencing and to take appropriate action. Sounds like you’re on a great track, LW.

    I know for me, when I first started on the pill, I felt like crap. I was moody and sad for no reason, which was very unlike me. Fortunately my body got acclimated to the change in hormones after about a week. Everyone reacts differently to medications, so to reiterate what spanishdoll said, if you notice a change after you start taking OCPs, definitely listen to what your body is telling you.

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    ncp June 17, 2011, 4:17 pm

    Birth Control Hormones suck. I first went on HBC when I was first married. (FYI, I had what passes for an “arranged marriage” these days, so I didn’t know my husband very well.) It KILLED any desire I had for sex. Which is SO not the way it’s supposed to work. My husband was very frustrated and angry that I kept saying no and fighting with him about “Sex is NOT basis for a marriage!” every time he tried to even touch me (seriously, his touching me made my skin crawl. It was awful). After I stopped the pills, I got to enjoy being a newlywed again.

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      LTC039 June 17, 2011, 4:29 pm

      omg! I’m glad to know this is a side effect! I was on Lo-Seasonique for close to a year & I also had an extremely low libido! I was wondering why, I couldn’t figure it out. Recently I switched & am now back to normal. Now that I read your post, I realized! haha thanks!
      & I’m glad things worked out for you!

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        Brooklyn June 17, 2011, 10:29 pm

        Wow! I used that when it was first out (the original, non-low version) and I started spotting at 6wks and it never stopped. The nurse tried to convince me to wait it out and I said, “woman, it’s been 2mths of spotting, it’s not worth it”.

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    Sarah June 17, 2011, 6:33 pm

    Aw, that sucks. I love my pill (the dreaded Yasmin–that shit cleared up my skin SO FAST AND SO AWESOMELY, and no clots as yet) and I’m sorry yours fucked with you so badly!

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      fallonthecity June 19, 2011, 3:29 am

      I also love my Yasmin! I dropped the Yasmin for awhile in college and switched to Nuva Ring because I kept forgetting my pills — just no. I feel lucky I found the BC that worked for me on the first go-round!

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    SpyGlassez June 17, 2011, 8:55 pm

    I’d been on antidepressants for a couple years before I started taking BC – and I needed it because I had progressed from “a day or two of painful cramps” to “8-10 ibuprophen 3x a day for several days cramps.” The first BC didn’t work out, the second made my depression much worse, but what I’m on now has helped a lot. I never wanted to go on BC, but my doctor convinced me to consider it because she was concerned I would damage my liver with the ibuprophen. It was really bad when I was taking the ones that made depression worse, but I’m on Yasmin now and it has helped a lot with both the hormonal swings and the cramps. Glad to hear that switching has worked out for you!

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      Laurel June 18, 2011, 6:23 pm

      Thanks for your perspective. BC pills can be a godsend for some and terrible for others. It just really depends on each of our individual makeups and health concerns.

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        MissD June 25, 2011, 3:26 am

        So true. Works like a charm for me-evens out my hormones and regulates my cycle (both were pretty bad before). My sister can’t take anything-it completely screws up her health. She had a pretty bad year and a half because of BC. She’s still dealing with it. One of my close girlfriends can’t take BC because it kills her libido. It really can mess with you.

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    anastasiachs June 17, 2011, 10:46 pm

    I have cramps so bad that I need HBC and I went through 5 different types before I found one that worked for me.

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    Locomotive Breath June 18, 2011, 5:58 pm

    Now can we get the womyn to admit that a guy’s naturally occurring hormones are going to make him do some crazy stuff that is beyond his control. Prolly not.

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    NAME REDACTED June 18, 2011, 6:32 pm

    My wife was on Yaz for a while and it was terrible, she gained 25 lbs and became very bitchy and her hair started thinning. After she got off of it she started improving a lot.

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    fallonthecity June 19, 2011, 3:33 am

    Glad to hear you’re doing well, and I’m very sorry the pill messed with you so badly! I’m very lucky that I tolerate my BC well, because without it I have a heavy period every 2 weeks — and that’s a drag.

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    MsMisery June 20, 2011, 9:39 am

    Just don’t forget a backup method!

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