It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Irrationally Jealous” who was jealous of the close friendships her boyfriend had with several women, whom he danced with, gave back rubs to, and occasionally held hands with. Some commenters said that her jealousy wasn’t irrational at all and that she should demand some boundaries be drawn. Keep reading to see if she did just that and how she’s doing now, over a year and a half later.
Still, I’m grateful for the experiences, the memories, and the lessons. I learned a lot about myself and spent some time after our break up alone, just working on me. I became totally okay with being alone. I still remember the day that I thought to myself, “It might just be me and my daughter from here on out, and that’s totally fine.” Soon thereafter, I worked up a lot of courage, took a leap, and moved to a new city, got a better job, and then met a great guy (perhaps I’m giving away who I am, but that’s okay). I’m still friendly with my ex, who is, surprise surprise, currently in the beginning stages of a relationship with one of his female friends from college (luckily, not one of them who lived in the same town as we did while we were dating).
Thanks for the update and congrats on all the good things in your life. And to reiterate what we all said way back when you first wrote: a guy who holds hands with his women friends and gives them back rubs, despite being in a relationship with someone else, is the one with the issues.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.