It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Long Distance Information” whose family was putting pressure on her to get engaged before moving across the country to be with her long distance boyfriend. Not yet ready for marriage, she wondered if that meant she shouldn’t be moving either. Keep reading to see what she decided to do.
Finally, I had a very long conversation with my conservative dad, who was more understanding than I expected. While he wasn’t happy, I did assure him that my plan is to marry my boyfriend, but that moving won’t be the reason; when we’re ready will be. And even if it didn’t work out, I was an adult and had to make these decisions on what felt right to me.
My boyfriend was just here for the holidays and everything was great. My family was warm to him and my sisters brought up our eventual move, even though we hadn’t yet decided anything. But, after that discussion, he and I made a concrete plan that this year we are battening down our finances to finally make the move (most likely me to him, as I mentioned, because I can find work more easily out there than him here). We’re going to check in with each other in spring to see how our financial goals are looking to finally make that plunge by summer, if not definitely by the end of the year.
Thanks to you, Wendy, and all the comments, even the harsh ones. This was the push I needed to start (basically) standing up for myself and what I want, and I’ve definitely been doing that these past few months, and really liking how it has stemmed into other parts of my life too!
Good for you! Best of luck as you get closer to making a decision about the move.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.