It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Looking for the Real Deal” a woman who was falling for a man she men on Match who, after two marriages, had decided he was not interested in an exclusive, monogamous relationship again. She knew she didn’t want to date anyone else and was confused about whether such an arrangement would work for her in the long-run. Keep reading to see where things stand now.
We are at the eleven-month mark now and what seems to be happening is monogamy by default. I was open to his needs, he has been sensitive to my insecurities, and without a lot of fanfare we are becoming a bonded, loving couple. We had loving experiences through the holidays, and he continues to be supportive, kind, and accountable and does not appear to be dating anyone else, at least for the time being. The door is open for him to make his choices and for me to respond as I will. We are learning from each other, and I feel the strong desire to continue to grow this special love. He has never done anything to hurt me and cherishes our special love. He recognizes that I am open, considerate, and really happy to be with him. We share mutual respect and a strong physical connection.
I do not know what this will look like in six months or another year, but I am feeling more self-confident and less anxious as we spend more time getting to know each other. It is a beautiful love for which I am thankful every day.
Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you’re happy. I would be curious to know how you’d respond if/when your boyfriend started seeing someone else, per the arrangement of your open-ish relationship. Has anyone else been in a similar position as the LW, where you weren’t interested in dating anyone else but kept your relationship open to appease your partner’s needs? How did that work?
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.