It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Lost My LDR” who was suspicious that his long distance girlfriend was spending so much time with a man 30 years her senior whom she said wasn’t romantically interested in her. “Am I being defensive or unreasonable if I ask that she doesn’t spend all her free time with this random guy?” Keep reading to see where things stand now over a year later.
You won’t believe how it ended, haha. So, I bought a ticket to go see her in Los Angeles, try and work it out (my stubborn heart wouldn’t let it go). She was excited, but distant, and I was naive. I kept noticing that she would disappear for long periods and not call me. Two days before I was going to fly out and see her, I finally had to ask. Turns out, she had been sleeping with this guy (who was older than her dad) for a month.
I was completely frozen for a day — didn’t know what to do. Like an idiot, I decided to fly out there anyway, since I had already spent the money. I flew out, for some strange reason thought there was something left to salvage, and found out quickly that she had permanently damaged us. After four days of pain, I left her and went to stay with my friend. I bought a ticket to fly back sooner, didn’t say goodbye, and that was the last I saw of her.
Moral of the story: MOA, just like you said, Wendy. I learned a ton from that one. Thanks so much for your advice. Wish I had heeded it. I would have saved myself putting my heart through a blender and the $500 I spent on the plane ticket.
Thanks for the update. Hopefully you have moved on to bigger and better things…
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.