It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Missing Hello Kitty” the woman in Germany whose military boyfriend moved back to the states. She visited him a few times and bought lavish gifts for him, as well as some products to keep at his place, such as “some clothes, an xbox, and a Hello Kitty toaster with matching microwave.” He asked her to come visit for their 2-year anniversary, but then, just a few days later, he told her he’d met someone else. Aside from being upset that he dumped her and moved on so quickly, she wanted to know how to get her stuff back without seeming just desperate to talk to him. Keep reading to see if they ever talked again and whether Hello Kitty is safely back in her possession.
We talked on and off, and after another month we Skyped. It felt really weird, there were a lot of awkward silences, and it just didn’t feel right. I was so upset about how cold he was that I started crying after we hung up. But we continued talking on and off and it started improving until it almost felt as if nothing had happened and we were still together.
He told me there is a good chance he might come back to Germany and get stationed here again some time next year. We both aren’t seeing anyone else, but we are also not together. However, we talk like we are, so it’s a little confusing to me sometimes. But we don’t say “I love you” anymore. That kinda hurts sometimes.
He keeps telling me to come visit him because we haven’t seen each other since Christmas 2013, but I didn’t book a flight yet — not because I don’t miss him or don’t want to see him but because I want to show him that he doesn’t own me like that. He doesn’t just tell me to do something and then I’ll do it. I’m not sure if that makes sense to you. But I feel like I still have to focus on myself at the moment to become a better person. Both for him and for me.
When we were still together, he would always criticize me for still living at home (I only just turned 21) and not having my driver’s license yet. So that is what I am currently working on–to show him that I am independent and that I can take care of myself. Sometimes I think it’s the age difference that caused our relationship to fail because he is almost 29.
So, as of now, we are not together but we do text again — not everyday, but, when we talk, it’s not weird or awkward or anything. I think that’s all the update for now. I can update you again in the future if you want and maybe send another email at the end of this year.
But what about your Hello Kitty stuff??
Ok, in all seriousness, it sounds like you are being practical about this situation and taking care of you and not rushing into anything. Good for you for working on your independence and not jumping just because he tells you to. I think you should tell him that, if he wants to see you so badly, he should come visit you! And tell him to bring your stuff with him!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.