It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Mr. Invisble” whose wife was neglecting their relationship and focusing solely on raising their children. Despite doing most of the household chores, as well as making lots of romantic gestures, the LW wrote: “Basically, I feel like the 5th or 6th item on her daily list and most days, she doesn’t get to me.” After the jump, find out if his wife is making him a bigger priority.
I get the sense that she looks at me more like a partner or even an employee for her to assign tasks. And when those tasks are done, we go our separate ways for the night. I guess I’m just losing my desire to keep making this effort when it gets less and less of a response over time. I even stopped sending her flowers at work because she thought it was too expensive and said I should just go to Walmart instead of having them delivered for $50 because they are only $10 there. (Though we are financially quite secure.) I mean, what a killjoy right? Why do I bother? — Mr Invisible
If you feel like you’ve already tried everything, I guess I don’t understand why you’re so opposed to going to couples therapy together. Obviously, you have a communication issue. So, get some professional help. If you’re “quite financially secure,” what’s the problem? Take your flower money and put it toward a good counselor. Or … maybe you’d rather continue being a martyr?
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.