It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Not a Daddy’s Girl” who wanted a better relationship with her once-abusive father. “My father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s,” she wrote, “which has swiftly changed him from the ultimate authority figure to a fragile, confused old man. It is now occurring to me that I am running out of time to connect with my father and have the close father-daughter relationship I always wanted.” Keep reading to see whether their relationship has gotten closer in the three months since she wrote in.
It really shocked me that it meant so much to him and that he’s wanted to connect with me as much as I have wanted to connect with him. So I have been calling him every month or so with news of my new job and my life and travels and to discuss his experiences in the same places. Each time it has gone better with my dad opening up more each time. I have been working the questions you suggested into our conversations and I feel like I am getting to know him as a real person. I’m so happy! I think that, if I keep this up, by the next time I see him we’ll be able to have a natural, comfortable interaction and spend some one-on-one time together.
That’s wonderful! Congratulations on the new job and the better relationship you’re building with your father!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.