It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Not a Secret” whose letter was included in a shortcuts column in 2012. She was recently engaged and feeling anxious about the relationship between her fiancé and his ex-girlfriend. Specifically, she didn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell the ex that he had gotten engaged. She updated us the following month, saying her fiancé finally told his ex-girlfriend about his engagement. She also said they were starting couples counseling because they had “gotten off track from where we were before all this drama started.” Did the couples counseling work? Are they still together? Did they get married? Find out below.
I finally broke the engagement off last March. I thought, when being engaged, you work through issues and what not. Obviously, there were a lot more issues involved than I believed. After breaking the engagement off, my former husband, whom I was still close with, passed away from cancer and I truly understood what unconditional love was and is. I knew what it was all along; I just had a lapse in judgment.
I have been single for a year now and it is and has been the best thing for me. I did have to block the ex as, when he drinks, he likes to text. I would like to thank you and all your readers for the insight you provided. One of the most important things I did learn is to listen to your gut instincts as they are generally right and to love and respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that is harmful to you in any fashion.
Thanks for the update–and for the reminder to listen to your gut. So sorry to hear about your ex-husband.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.