It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Not a Secret” whose letter was included in a recent shortcuts column. She was recently engaged and feeling anxious about the relationship between her fiancé and his ex-girlfriend. Specifically, she didn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell the ex that he had gotten engaged. Keep reading to see if the LW is still a secret.
I did not have to prompt him to contact the individual as we were having a relaxing Friday evening and she texted him yet again. She sent a picture of his Match.com profile from 4 1/2 yrs ago which he shared with me. (Holding onto something like that for 4 1/2 years seems a bit obsessive and stalkerish but not my issue, thank goodness). I said it was a good segue to tell her about me and that he was engaged. He did so and she was, of course, surprised yet congratulated both of us and wished us well and said that she finally got her closure and said her goodbye to my fiancé. He said that he has heard this for the last four years and she will probably contact him again in the future. But I can only control what I do and not what others do.
All along I said he was disrespecting me and our relationship yet his opinion is that I do not trust him. I have tried to explain that is not the case. On a more positive note, we are going to seek couples counseling as we have gotten off track from where we were before all this drama started. There has been some damage but I do love my fiancé with all my heart and want to work this out.
I appreciate all the responses as it did solidify what I thought was correct.
Thanks for the update, and best of luck to your both!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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