It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Not Big Enough,” who had a great first date with a guy she met online, but who, afterward, told her he preferred heavier women — like his ex, who was over 300 lbs. — and that she simply wasn’t big enough for his taste. Still, NBE hoped to change his mind and win him over with her personality, but we all advised her to MOA. After the jump, find out whether she followed that advice or not.
Thank you so, SO much for choosing my letter. I cried as I read your advice, and kept crying as I read your awesome readers’ advice. Every single one of you was right. I guess it just took people who could only see it from the outside and were not involved in it emotionally to finally slap some sense into me. I was a fool. Probably a desperate fool, who was clouded by his good looks and charm to see just how badly he was treating me. I felt like an idiot, but I’m so glad it didn’t get so far as to actually affect my body and mind.
I really could see how dick-ish he was, but I guess I had just romanticized us into some whirlwind love affair in my own head. It was completely irrational of me. After I finished reading the comments, I promptly deleted his number from my Blackberry, unfriended him on Facebook and sent one last email. And I’m seriously contemplating deleting my PlentyOfFish profile, lol. When I turned 25 last year I started to love who I was regardless of what I looked like and that’s when it felt like a dark cloud had been lifted from above me, I could see that dark cloud rolling back and I knew there was trouble. I’m getting back to who I was before him and am determined never to let another person make me feel me that way again.
Again, thank you so much Wendy, and thank you to your brilliant readers for putting my head back on straight.
I’m glad to hear you’re doing better and you kicked this guy to the curb, but don’t be afraid to get back out there and try again. Taking a break from dating if you’re feeling burned is fine, but there really are “plenty of fish” out there, and not all of them are jerks … I promise.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.