It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from Not My Mother’s Keeper who was feeling pressured by some family members to invite her estranged mother, who physically and emotionally abused her growing up, to her upcoming wedding. “They are worried […] that she may commit suicide if not invited. Also, they believe I will regret not inviting her. Keep reading to see whether she invited her mother or not and if she regrets her decision.
Twenty-four hours and 10 character-assassinating, nasty emails later, I knew I had made the correct decision in not inviting her. I didn’t respond to her emails nor have we talked since. The wedding was drama-free and it was a 70-degree and sunny December 21st wedding. My husband wrote the most beautiful vows that made everyone weep. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful loving people in my life. And when I see my mom at my sister’s upcoming wedding, I will smile and be joyful and hope for the best for my whole family. I hope they can create and find the stable love that I have been so lucky to find, work hard at, and enjoy.
Not My Mother’s Keeper
What a great update. Congratulations on the marriage! I’m so glad you were able to have the drama-free wedding you wanted and that you have arrived at a place of peaceful acceptance of your mother’s clear limitations and don’t let them or her ruin your happiness. Best wishes to you.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.