It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Once a Cheater,” who had cheated on previous boyfriends in the past and expressed some concern that she was beginning to fantasize about other men again now that she has been relocated away from her boyfriend for six months. After the jump, find out how her relationship with her boyfriend is going now, halfway through their separation.
Thank you for posting my letter. After reading everyone’s advice and having a lot of self reflection, I’ve found myself in my most happiest state of mind. As everyone knows, I have been a cheater in my past relationships and the reason why my current boyfriend does not know this is because he really doesn’t need to. For what? I don’t plan on cheating on him so why should I? When we went exclusive I had no doubts in my mind if I could maintain my monogamy.
Yes, I do still have these thoughts occasionally but you know, who the hell doesn’t? I have many thoughts in my head circulating throughout my day such as “Hmm…I wonder what everyone would do if I just screamed at the top of my lungs in this death by Powerpoint meeting?….” or while speaking to my boss sometimes I just think about saying “My chocolate poodle is waay smarter than you are.” But do I say or act upon these thoughts? No. Do I make it known? No. I just hold my bearing and go on about my merry way.
I have, however, thought about the repercussions if I DID cheat on my boyfriend. But I didn’t even let my mind get past that point. I just kept thinking about that day I’m going to run into my boyfriends arms at the airport or how I just miss him cuddling with me and how he still pulls me back even when I eventually tend to roll over on my other side. I want that plus more from only him. We have gotten closer throughout the past two months and I am just so happy that we are both on the same page. I have no worries and neither should he. Thank you to everyone who responded. Everyone’s advice really put me in place and I needed to know where I stood to myself as well as others.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.