It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Pregnant and Miserable in Mississippi” who had been emotionally (and physically) abandoned by a long-time friend after she got pregnant by him and moved across the country to his parents’ home where he’d promised he would meet her to start a new life together. Keep reading to see how things have changed since she wrote last month.
After receiving your response, I spent a little time thinking and I realized, I have a lot going for me on my own. I didn’t need this man’s family, or him for that matter. Twenty years of friendship and love obviously meant nothing to him . . . so hey, it shouldn’t for me either.
So, after I wrote the post, there are a few things that started to happen. His parents decided that I was “ignoring” them because I was so sick I couldn’t come out of the bedroom very often. With that, they started to smoke right outside my bedroom window. In a house that wasn’t built properly, the cigarette smoke would come through the window. Also, with humidity and heat, it made it so I couldn’t open the window for fresh air, especially the cold air at night. So I duct-taped the window. Shortly after doing that, they decided to start smoking in the house, right outside my bedroom window.
I then wasn’t allowed to eat with them, they would say nasty things about me to everyone they knew, I wasn’t allowed to leave the house (keep in mind I didn’t have a car and they lived out in the middle of nowhere so I couldn’t walk anywhere I would have liked to go).
I then was able to start working a contract job (I have experience in IT so I was able to find something I could do from home). This man, his business partners, and his best friend, took me under their wing. They would pick me up for work, provide me with an office and PC, would buy me lunch and dinner, and would ensure I wasn’t in an unhealthy environment (they knew my friend’s parents from work they had done with them previously. They also saw the conditions of the house and heard the rumors going around). They even went so far as to drive me to doctor appointments and ensure my pregnancy was kept up and I was in healthy working order.
Shortly after taking me under their wing, they provided me a studio apartment to live in and a monthly food allowance (which covered far more than I would ever eat) in exchange for work. They also provided me with a monthly payment on top of the housing and food to make sure I would have something to save so I could get back on my feet. They then paid for me to get back to California where I am from last week.
I have to say, I am more than blessed with what came out of this situation. I am back in California with my friends, family, and support system. I also have a new support system in a boss that has provided me with continued work even though he and his business reside in another state across the country.
I will never have my friend or his family as a part of my life any longer. Thankfully, this entire experience, all the heartache he created, and all of the drama and unhealthy atmosphere his parents put me through, has made me realize what type of people they really are. I needed this so I could rid my life of horrible people and situations. It was also a learning experience on whom to trust and what decisions to make in my life.
Thank you for your words, your follow-up, and most of all . . . allowing me something to remind me that I am worth more and have more than what I thought.
I hope all is well. Take care, and thanks again.
Wow, it sounds like you found a guardian angel in Mississippi! I’m so glad you were able to get back to California and that you have employment and are surrounded by a support system again. Stay strong, and best wishes to you for the rest of your pregnancy and beyond!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.