It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Pregnant Daughter” who was worried about how to tell her parents, whom she lives with, that she was pregnant. Keep reading to hear where things stand.
So, it turned out we had nothing to fear from telling our parents. Everyone – though initially freaked out and upset – was very supportive. I had my reasons for being terrified to tell them, and my brothers have admitted feeling the same way about telling our parents any news. After breaking the news, though, our attention immediately shifted to the important issues at hand.
I failed to mention this before, but my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and he’s the only guy I have ever slept with. Although we have a great relationship, this put a major strain on it for obvious reasons. But, we weren’t ready for this at all like many people pointed out. And I know Wendy won’t share my previous letters, but to end curiosity, they were mostly from over a year and a half ago and had to do with the horrible (and completely different) relationship I had with my ex that I was unwilling to let go of – which she helped me realize I had to do.
I’m completely against abortion (and I honestly didn’t appreciate all of the requests for me to get one rather than suggesting it as an option) and my boyfriend respects that, so we were considering adoption to give the baby a good life. We were still considering raising this child, and understood how hard it would be. But God made the final decision; we found out when we went in for the first ultrasound that the baby’s heart had recently stopped beating – and we are still in shock. What started out as an exciting moment to get the first images of our future child quickly turned into one of the saddest instances that either of us has ever endured.
We weren’t ready to be parents, and we should have used better protection than just condoms, and trust me, we understand that. But being a Christian, I try to trust God to make the best decisions for me, and I felt that my getting pregnant was a blessing, if not for me, than for someone else who wants a child. I feel that this is a lesson from Him, and right now I’m struggling to understand why I’ve been put through all this Hell, but my faith has not changed one bit. But thank you to everyone for the advice; it was appreciated.
Thank you for the update. I’m sorry for your shock and hope you are able to heal both emotionally and physically and practice safer sex and good judgment in the future.
To readers: Please, if you’re going to comment on this update, be sensitive about the nature of this topic and refrain from using hurtful language. (I will delete anything that is unnecessarily mean).
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.