It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from two previous letter writers. The first is “Hit On By Her Husband” whose close friend’s husband hit on her several years ago and she wondered if she should finally tell her friend what happened. “Her marriage is now so unhappy that she is seriously thinking of leaving him and I think she needs to have as much information as possible to make an informed decision. However, the incidents with the husband happened four years ago and I haven’t said anything since then. Do you think it would be the wrong thing to tell my friend what happened, now that so much time has passed?” Keep reading to see whether she decided to tell her friend.
All the best to you and your other readers, have a happy and healthy year. Thanks so much.
Thanks for the update! Your friend is lucky to have the support of people who obviously care about her well-being.
Now we hear from “Reunited with a Secretive Ex” who recently reunited with her ex-husband whom she hadn’t seen in 20 years. During their years apart, he re-married and divorced. The LW was confused as to why he still took calls from his ex-MIL, writing: “I don’t know what they would have to talk about if not [his ex-wife]. Also, he won’t give me a reason for his split with the ex or any details about their life together.” Keep reading to see if she got any clarity.
Well, that doesn’t sound very healthy. If you have unresolved anger or resentment about his walking out on you and your four children 20 years ago and never visiting, maybe being with him now isn’t the right move, regardless of whether his more recent ex-wife (and her family) still contacts him or not. If sweeping an issue under the rug is your way of dealing with it, it’s always going to be there.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.