It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Sexually Curious Bride” who first wrote in worried about how her soon-to-be-husband had a much lower sex drive that she. She wondered if she should discuss her desire to possibly open their relationship at some point or just hope that desire went away on its own. She updated us twice before (first here, and then here). In her most recent update, written last July, she said that her fiancé was willing to have an open marriage if it made her happy. She has now been married for a few months and has a third update for us.
Anything could happen in the future, but so far (it’s been a couple months) everything is going really well, and I would describe our married life as downright blissful. We have a once-a-week “no electronics” night where we just talk to each other without any distractions (well, we usually play board games actually). Any small issues that we have come up then so that nothing becomes huge or unmanageable.
I’m happy that I can have my own needs met and continue to live an honest life. He’s happy because there’s no pressure on him to keep up with me and he doesn’t have to worry that I’m straying because all of the details are right at his fingertips.
I’d say, if anything, having an open marriage has actually improved our own sex life. The majority of my time and attention and energy are spent on work and friends and being a good wife to him, but having the freedom to step out occasionally is pretty awesome. I feel so blessed to have such an incredible man in my life. I never imagined being able to love anyone as much as I love him.
Thank you Wendy, and DW community, for helping me get through this. Seriously, you guys rock.
Thanks for the update! I’m happy everything is working out so well for you. Best of luck in the future.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.