It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Step-mom In Over My Head!” whose pregnant stepdaughter was dropping serious hints that she wanted the LW to host an expensive baby shower with a huge guest list for her. “[Her dad and I] think that, since she has no money, she should not be having a big party but should instead be focusing on saving for the baby while we should be putting our money towards baby needs and not parties!” The baby shower was held over the weekend. Keep reading to find out who ended up paying for it.
I saw a great article in the HuffPost today about how we should forgo baby showers and bridal showers and instead have huge celebrations of graduations and first jobs…at which people buy you furniture and toast you and do all the stuff for actual accomplishments. I like that plan!
The author pointed out that of the seven weddings she had been to only two of the couples were still married.
Once you graduate from college you have always graduated from college!
Anyway, all’s well that ends well. Thanks for the clear thinking and straight shooting from both you and your active readers.
Well, I’m glad your stepdaughter’s shower went well and you stuck to your guns as far as what you were comfortable contributing.
As for forgoing baby showers and bridal showers and instead having huge celebrations for graduations and first jobs, I’m going to disagree. First of all, there already ARE huge graduation celebrations. Don’t most people get pretty big gifts from their parents and close family members when they collect a degree? And, yes, landing a first job is quite an accomplishment, deserving of a celebration and a toast or two, but…new furniture? Really? Presumably, one should be able to buy some new items with his or her paychecks from the new job. A baby shower, on the other hand, doesn’t so much celebrate an “accomplishment” (it seems maybe you have an issue with calling something an accomplishment that doesn’t always require much effort or forethought) as it celebrates the addition of a new life into the world and helps prepare the parent(s) for some of the many needs and expenses they’ll face as they usher in and care for this new life. I fully support the idea of baby showers for first-time parents! Bridal showers I’m much less enthusiastic about, but that’s a conversation for another day…
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.